My Desires

Chapter 46- How We Feel

Enzo's POV

"Babe look at this cute edit they made of us." Allison calls for my attention.

Lifting my head from her stomach, I watched an edited video of moments of Allison and I together.

It was nice.

"Do you like it?" She asks and I placed my head on her stomach once again.

I hummed and began to rub her belly.

The room fell silent.

"Enzo," I hummed again. "I think our babies are going to die."

Her voice broke at the end.

I sat up instantly and pulled her into my arms.

Kissing her forehead, I tried to reassure her. "The babies are not going to die."

"Yes they are." She cries. "Enzo, I'm having nightmares and flashbacks. I'm so traumatized to the point I'm afraid that it'll k-kill our babies."

I sighed.

Traumatic events can lead to fetal demise.

The thought of my unborn children dying before we even met them makes me feel...melancholic and frightened.

Jah jah.

Mi feel fuck up. This a my fault and mi cya even help har.

I wish I could take it all away.

"I'm so sorry." She sniffles. "I'm trying so hard to get better but there's only so much I can do."

It hurts my heart to hear her speaking like this.

"Princess, yuh nuh need fi sorry fi nothing. " I wiped her tears and looked into her sad watery eyes. "Nutn naah do di baby dem. We aguh work through dis and mi aguh help yuh get better."

"How can I get better when the image of myself killing someone keeps replaying in my head over and over again? It's all piled up on me Enzo, from the first time to couple nights ago. Everything has piled up on me, drowning me in sorrows and trauma. I can't take it anymore."

She was full on crying.

I hugged her tight. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Everything's not going to be okay. Sooner or later I'm going to have live with the fact that I have also murdered my own babies."

"Allison stop." I pulled her away from me. "Stop think suh negative, we aguh get tru dis."

"How?"

"We aguh do everything inna di book. You're already doing therapy, we can start exercising, medication and wulleep more." I assured.

Allison closed her eyes and sniffles.

"I want you to let it go." She whispered.

"Let what go?" I asked confused.

"Who you are, the things you do." She looked at me. "I want you to let it go."

Jah know.

I sighed. "Allison, mi cya just do that.."

"Enzo you have to." Her voice breaks. "I can't handle things like these anymore. You have to. For me please."

Her head fell on my chest and her soft whimpers resounded throughout the room.

Jah know star.

"Do it for the babies." She murmurs.

I can't talk about this now.