Commando App

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"Okay, guys, you have been trained for all kinds of missions. But you are about to enter a soul-bruising, confidence-crushing, apocalyptic environment: high school." Mr. Davenport says as we stand in the lab. "Adam, Bree, Cassie, your glitch test results are fairly stable."

"Yes! I'm going to school!" Bree exclaims.

"I'm fairly stable!" Adam says.

"Yay!" I say.

"But, Chase, I am still concerned about your Commando App." Mr. Davenport says.

"Commando App? Put on some underpants. We're going to school." Leo says.

"No, see, in the face of an imminent threat, Chase's Commando App kicks in and he becomes a fearless brute I like to call Spike." Mr. Davenport says. "It's kind of like a fight-or-flight thing, except I took out the flight part, 'cause useless. And I replaced it with a testosterone level of like a Tasmanian devil-wolverine-shark-lion hybrid that's mad."

"Don't worry, Mr. Davenport. I promise that Spike won't rear his ugly head." Chase says.

"Oh, yeah? You mean when like last Christmas when I made the mistake of giving Adam boxing gloves?" Mr. Davenport says.

We all flashback to last Christmas when the lab was partially destroyed and Chase as Spike was throwing a yellow barrel across the room.

"Anybody else confused about the don't-punch-me rule?" Spike says in a deep voice.

Adam was lying on the floor and looked up at his younger brother with a frightened expression on his face. Spike had his foot pressed against Adam's chest. Mr. Davenport, Bree, and I looked at each other and raised our weapons to defend ourselves behind the overturned console.

We flashback to the present.

"Ugh. I'm still coughing up tinsel." Adam says.

"You know, letting Chase go to school, isn't such a good idea." Mr. Davenport says. "I can't risk Spike coming out."

"Oh, come on, Big D. Chase has to come. With these guys, I'll finally get a prime spot in the cafeteria. That's right, y'all. Put on your coats, 'cause I'm about to ride your tail!" Leo says.

"Don't worry, Mr. Davenport. We'll make sure he stays out of trouble, right guys?" I say.

"Yeah. It's one for all and all for one. Unless, of course, you guys make me look bad, in which case, I am dropping you lame-os." Bree says.

"Mr. Davenport, I can't miss school. This is the beginning of my academic achievements and career trajectory. I mean, the road to astronaut lawyer has to start somewhere." Chase says.

"Okay. But I better not get a call from the art teacher saying that Spike ripped out her larynx." Mr. Davenport says. "Actually, she wouldn't be able to say anything, because Spike ripped out her lar...look, the point is just keep him out of trouble."

"Hey, look what I found," Adam says, putting on his red boxing gloves. He starts swinging his fists and accidentally punches Chase, knocking him to the ground. Adam hides behind me.

"Look, I'm sorry, but if he's that close to the gloves, it's gonna happen," Adam says.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, you guys. That's Principal Perry. She has the temperament of a junkyard dog stuffed into a really bad pantsuit." Leo says as the five of us walk into the cafeteria.

"Hey, you! No tongue rings in school! Don't try to hide it. I will take a metal detector to your face!" Principal Perry shouts at a random student.

Bree sees a cute boy walking toward us. "This is it. My chance for romance. On TV, the new girl always drops her books and the cute guy with the soulful eyes picks them up." Bree drops her books and a teacher slips on them instead. I cover my hand over my mouth in shock as the teacher fell to the ground.

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