The Neighbour

TEN

🌷Anastasia🌷

Nan is relentless on the phone, wanting to know the far end of a fart. In the end, I tell her everything, minus the details. We're close, but even I draw a line at telling my grandmother I gave my hot neighbour a blowjob the other night.

"He'll be good for you, Anastasia," she insists, sounding genuinely pleased.

Nan shows moments of seriousness from time to time and despite winding me up all morning regarding my involvement with Freddie, she's choosing now to offer me some.

"Yeah."

"He'll show you how a real man treats his lady."

"I'm not this lady, Nan," I insist.

I need to make it perfectly clear that this thing between Freddie and I is temporary. I don't want her growing attached. I don't want her getting ideas in her head that I can't commit to.

"Ana, let's get one thing straight," she replies. "Temporary or not, that man is yours for the duration of this relationship and you're his. Embrace it. Have fucking fun."

I laugh.

"I like him, Anastasia."

"I like him too."

"Good."

I hear muffling on the other end, and I can only assume she's getting herself ready for shopping and cocktails with Helen.

"Nan?"

Now, it's my turn to interrogate.

"How come you never told me about Liam O'Connor?"

She's silent for a moment before speaking. "I'm not sure, sweetheart."

There's a sadness to her tone.

"I suppose once I married your grandad, I did everything I could to forget about Liam."

"Why?" I ask. "Did something bad happen?"

"It's complicated, Ana."

"I know all about complicated," I offer.

She laughs, no doubt agreeing. "His family we're catholic. I wasn't."

"So, you weren't allowed to marry him?" I question,

I head into my kitchen and stack the dishwasher. Charlotte's things are still here from last night and for a minute, I imagine my house full of milk formula and nappies. I picture her clothes in my wardrobe and her laughter in my home. Growing up, I wanted children. A husband. After Josh, I told myself I wanted neither. My dream disappeared the day he hit me. Sometimes, Freddie, Charlotte and I feel like a family, and I have to remind myself that's not the case. I suspect Freddie and I will be friends for a very long time but he's incapable of love and so am I. I do well to remember that.

We're not a family.

We never will be.

"No, our families didn't approve."

Holy shit!

"Did you love grandad?" I ask, probing for more information.

"Anastasia..."

"I can handle the truth," I insist.

She sighs. "Yes."

"As much as Liam?"

She hesitates.

"Nan?"

"No," she replies. "Not as much as Liam."