Author's POV:
Post lunch, the family was sitting at the verandah playing games. It was a family lunch. Minal's and Mahaa's husbands too came for the lunch. And Maheem was the apple of eye for everyone. Actually the boys were playing football and the girls were cheering for them. The game period was finally over and now the boys covered with sweat sat around their parents on the mat. The elderly couple was sitting on the single sofa and a mat was spread on the ground.
The girls went out to bring some refreshments for the tired boys. Noor was pouring the juice into the glasses when she heard the sound of soft giggles. She looked at the front to find the most beautiful sight. Shaharyar was laughing and enjoying with his brothers. This is all she always wanted for him. To be happy with his family. Because they were too sweet to be away from.
Noor thought that may be this was the last time she was seeing him, because after that she would make sure she didn't. Because she knew looking at the person again and again who you know can't be yours is just tearing the wound apart. So she wanted to capture him forever in her mind, make as much memories as she can to hold on for life.
Baahon mein teri aake laga
Mera safar toh yahin tan hain
Tumse shuru tumpe hi khatam
Meri kahaani tumhi tak hain
Noor was just seventeen when she started feeling for Shaharyar. At first, she thought it to be a simple crush which would be gone after sometime. But it didn't. She started growing more attached to him, his habits, his nature, everything.
Dil ko jo de rahat si
Tujhme hai woh khamoshi
Sau baar taalash liya khudko
Kuch tere siva na mila mujhko
Saanson se rishta tod bhi kun
Tumse tod na paungi...hmm..
Noor didn't want to start or end her day without having a look of him. She started defending him in the matters. She started to care like she never did. After her father's death, she thought that maybe now she wouldn't have such feelings towards him.
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Iss chahat mein mar jaungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
But no! She used to feel peace looking at him. The girl who hated cooking, tried learning cooking because he loved food, he loved eating. She studied more than required so as to teach him, so he could do good in his exams. Noor didn't feel good about this. She started to overwork, over study, do everything past the time to keep his thoughts at bay, but it didn't work. His family was always sweet. She wanted that family to be hers too.
Aankhen khule toh main dekhun tujhe
Sirf yahin farmaish hain
Pehle to mujhko yaad nahin
Tu meri aakhri khwahish hain
She never to confess or something but yes she had her own set of dreams. Which she hoped to become a reality someday. But the hope came crashing down with the news of his marriage. She had her share of heartbreak and it still beat and skipped for him, it still hurted for him.
Seh loon main ab teri Jami
Mujhse yeh hoga hi nahin
Tum aise mujh mein shaamil hon
Tum jaan meri tumhi dil ho
Shayad main bhula doon khudko bhi
Par tumko bhul na paungi.. Hoo..
Noor never blamed him for her feelings. She couldn't. She was solely responsible for her feelings. But whatever may she say. It hurt. It did hurt. May be a little. Or like a tornado. She didn't knew. She just knew that his habits were etched on her mind for now and ever. How his coffee with extra milk and less sugar is enough to start his day, how he waved a hand through his hair and bite his lips when in frustration, how he loved blue color how ever he pretended to love black, how he was so punctual about every other thing in his life, how he wanted everything to be perfect, just perfect, how he smelled of cedarwood, how he loved the knot of his tie to be right, neither too tight nor too small, how keeping his shoes clean was his prime intention, how he loved the pancakes she made and the noodles that Saad made but always pretended to hate them, how he loved his family but always kept a distance.
