murky waters | carl grimes¹

2. grow up

"don't leave me alone, please"

I kept driving for miles without stopping, I'm pretty sure that Tally fell asleep, and the farther away I got from the house, the better I felt. Yet, no matter what I thought about, it all lead back to her.

It was my mother's idea to teach me how to drive. Dad didn't want us to be independent but he was never a realistic person. We are talking about a 45-year-old who used to actively play with Legos before shit hit the fan. It took a few tries but without road manners or cops, it was pretty easy to get ahold of the whole driving thing. I didn't do it often but I am thankful I had the skill.

If my mind wasn't thinking about me driving a car it was the bag of ammo and guns that sat under the mats of the car. We've kept mom's car this whole time, it was an SUV, slightly bigger than what we needed but it had those hidden compartments under the backrow's feet. It added some peace to leaving the car unlocked.

While my dad had been a huge child up until the downfall of society, my mother was something else. She grew up with her dad, a guy who thought the world was going to end long before it did, he had stock piles of canned food, rice, powered milks, guns, and a lot of ammo. He had died a couple of years before this all happened but mom never got rid of his property.

It was the first stop we made. We lived there for weeks before the town became overran and we packed our bags and left. Since then we have been traveling, nonstop. We didn't need to scavenge for much other than food and water. That was something you never had enough of. Nobody used our guns or our ammo unless we needed to, we were carrying treasure.

Not that I could use said treasure. My dad did not allow my mother to teach Talia nor me how to shot a gun. It was almost like he was setting up our downfall. It was all out of the goodness of his heart but he really wasn't thinking. Mom got a few sessions in with me before she saved us but I never actually shot one. It was too risky, sound drew the dead in.

I could kill the dead with a knife or screwdriver, anything really. I wasn't completely useless. However it wasn't enough to keep Tally alive. She was the only family I had now and I promised my parents that I would always look after her.

My father had given up his life to save us, then my mother, now I know, if I have to, I will give myself up to save Talia.

Dad use to talk about her as if she was the future. He knew by the time we adjusted to the world and somehow managed to live a less chaotic life, Talia and other kids her age would be the future. We had to keep her alive long enough for her to see that.

For her sake, I hope that world is good enough for her.

The gas was running low and I knew I needed to find a place for us to camp out and regroup.

We were in the middle of nowhere, each side of the road was surrounded by trees and I hadn't seen a building in miles. There were a few roads that branched off this one, I chose to take one, hoping it was a drive way.

The dirt road was long but luckily it brought us to a cabin. I parked the car, leaving the keys in the car just like mom use to. I turned around to wake Talia up but she was already awake. "I'm going to go in clear it," I tell her. I reach for the door handle but something stops me.

I turn back around and climb in the back. I grab dad's old backpack and get his pistol out. It was one of the ones mom taught me how to use. "Use this is you have to, aim it at the dead's head, make sure," I point to the safety, "the safety is off or else it won't shoot." I explain, I hold the gun in my hands and aim it towards the window to show her how to hold it. "Only shoot if you have to," I watch her nod at my words.

Talia hasn't been the same since this all went down. She used to be a social butterfly, always begging my parents to let her go to her friends house or asking me to hang out with my friends. Since the dead came back to life she barely talks, all of her bubbly personality was stolen from her.

"I'll be back," I promised before getting out of the car. I shut the door behind me and double checked to make sure I had mom's knife and old gun. I grabbed the knife, keeping it ready for any of the dead.

I opened the Cabin's door and scanned the area. None of the dead were out in the open but there was moaning coming from one of the closets. I approached the door quietly and listened, it only sounded like one. I ripped open the door and shoved my knife into it's head before it could grab me. It fell dead on the ground. I got a chance to look at it, the rotten face was the one of a child's. My stomach twisted as I grabbed my knife back and kept searching for anymore dead.

Instead of finding another monster, I found a body, a gunshot to the head and a gun on the floor. The room reeked of death and there was blood splattered on the wall. They've been dead for a long time.

After looking through the rest of the house and finding no more monsters, I dragged the body of the child into the room with the other dead person. I locked the door and shut it. We'd just camp out in the living room for now.

I was quick to go back out to the car and carry Talia in. I didn't like leaving her out there but with her injured I couldn't afford her coming in here with the alive dead ones. Once she was settled on the couch I went back outside and brought in our bags of guns and a few cans of peaches and Spaghetti Rings.

"We will stay here until you feel better," I explained to Talia as I opened the Spaghetti Rings for her, "until then I'm going to have to go scouting for some gas."

"Don't leave me here alone, please," she grabbed onto my arm, nearly dropping her food.

"We can't get anywhere without gas, I won't be back long, I'll go a mile or two and head back," I sighed. I hated the idea of leaving her here alone but we were no good on foot, we couldn't carry all of our supplies.

"Why can't we just live here?" Talia's wide eyes look up at mine as she asked. I wished we could, I wish it was safe enough.

"It's not safe enough, we need somewhere with walls, somewhere the dead can't just come up to the front door," I told her, "and we will find it, I know we will."

The next day I stayed at the cabin with Talia, she wasn't feeling good and I was worried she was getting sick on top of her injury.

She spent the day sleeping on the couch and singing. I spent the day either by the window or outside standing on the car looking for any dead coming our way.

I didn't sleep again but I knew I needed to be awake in case something stumbled across the cabin and I knew Talia needed her sleep.

I was her protector, I had to do this.

The next morning, I set off on foot to find gas. I left my supplies behind, if I found something I'd go back to it, I didn't want to leave Talia too long. I kept the gun in the cabin between my jeans and my belt and my knife in my hand.

Talia wasn't feeling too good in the morning, she was showing signs of the flu or something. I didn't know much about medication or the body. I needed to find something or someone to help her.

When I stumbled across a fence I was astonished. I stopped looking through the chain links and noticed one side of the fence was collapsed there were the dead roaming around. I was careful not to be seen by any of them. I should have enough gas in the car to get it to what looked like a prison, we could drive to the fence up there, it looked clear from the dead.

I could make a home out of this for Talia and I.

I was about to turn around before I heard a gun shot.

It wasn't aimed at me but I watched as one of the dead fell dead by the standing gate. Two alive people came running out, opening the gate as a car got ready to leave.

There were alive people in there. With guns.

Could I risk it?

They could help save Talia

or

they could kill us.