Secret Confessions (Book 1)

Angeldust

~ WARNING: There will be a bit if NSFW content in this chapter. Only slight, but still there ~

I swallow the laugh that threatens to spill from my lips as I study the horrified expression on Alastor's face. He has been caught.

Technically, I didn't plan on bringing it up. Figured it was a fluke on his part. But the urge to know gnaws at me. Digging under my skin and threatens insanity. 

"I... well, you see... what happened was..." He fishes for an excuse and I raise my eyebrow unamused.

"Just tell me the truth, Al." I huff.

"No." My mouth drops open at his declaration.

"Wha... Why?" I ask.

"I don't have to answer to you. I am a powerful demon who doesn't have to explain my actions. Least of all, to you." Alastor sneers.

Coffee sloshes in the plastic cup I hold as my hand trembles. Heart squeezing painfully, I force a smile to my face. "Of course. Sorry, Smiles."

The rest of the walk back to the hotel is filled with awkward silence. I can see him sneaking glances at me from the corner of my eye, but I ignore it.

Yer a fool Angel, I think bitterly.

Of course Alastor will deny having made any such action or write it off as nothing. It's better this way.

Besides, it's not like I want to be tied down in a suffocating relationship. My heart protests and my mind screams at the untrue thought.

Who am I kidding?

I crave intimacy. I yearn for a man to call my own. Someone to hold me close after a hard day at work and to rub my aching body after sleepless nights with Val.

It's not just any man I crave.

I long fer Alastor...

The bastard grew on me and continues to wiggle into my heart. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop yearning for a life and love I can never have.

Damn history repeatin' itself...

No. I won't go there. I refuse to remember that horrific tragedy.

Straightening, I use two hands to push up my bust, adjusting the goods as we approach the Hotel, before waltzing through the front door.

"Thanks Al hun' fer the treat, but I hafta get ready fer work." I tease, waggling my fingers at him and strutting up the stairs.

It's a total lie. My car from Valentino doesn't arrive for another four hours, but I need to get away from him. Away from the constant temptation I face of wanting to press my lips against his again. I was able to get away with it last time because he thought I was shitfaced. If I did it now, he'd kill me in two seconds flat.

"Angel." Alastor whispers, and I pause halfway up the staircase and turn to see him staring up at me.

"Smiles, I can't talk right now." I reply, a note of sorrow in my tone. Crap. Now he knows I'm sad. Fucking great.

Spinning, I dash up the stairs and into my room. Slamming the door closed, I suck in a shaking breath and wipe away the tears blurring my vision. Sliding to the floor, I pull out my phone and scroll through the contacts until my brothers name pops up.

My finger hovers over the green call button. When I was alive, I always talked to Gorgie - Arackniss -  when I had problems of the heart. Now? Now he hates me. Loathes me with every fiber of his being, and I don't blame him one bit.

"Mark my words, Anthony, I will never forgive ya fer this!"

Arakniss's words ring harshly in my mind and I shove down the memory of blood and gore. So much carnage in my human life. Such delicious carnage. If I had the chance, I'd do it all again.

Shifting, a black silk glove falls out of my pocket.

Huh?

Putting my phone away, I pick it up and study it for a second.

Alastor. This is his glove!

Oh shit! He must've left it in my pocket for some reason. But how did it get into my pocket?

Bringing it to my nose, I breathe in his musky sweet scent. So soothing.

Wait, what the fuck am I doing?!?!

Yanking my hand away from my face, I shove the glove into my pocket and jump up. The sooner I return his glove, the quicker I can flee back to the safety of my room. I will not ask any questions and just assume the glove fiasco is some part of an unexplainable fluke as well.

Hurrying downstairs, I see Charlie and Vaggie curled on the couch, watching a movie.

"Hey ladies, have ya seen Smiles?" I ask.

"He went upstairs to his room." Charlie responds.

"Said something about taking care of a nuisance." Vaggie grumbles, nibbling on popcorn.

"We're watching Slasher four, if you want to join." Charlie offers and holds up the bowl of popcorn.

"Hell yeah," I exclaim. I adore horror movies. Always have. And it'll get my mind off of the stuffy red uptight jackass. "Let me return somethin' ta Al and I'll be right back. Don't play it without me!"

Running up the stairs to Alastor's room, I skid to a stop outside his door and rap my knuckles on the wood. "Hey, don't kill me but I'm returnin' yer glove. Don't know how it got in my pocket."

No answer.

I'll just leave it in his room and bounce.

Twisting the knob, I push open the door. "I'm comin' in ta leave yer glove on da nightst-"

The words die in my throat as I witness something truly bizzare.

Alastor is sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over. But my eyes are glued to his fast motioned hand.

He is gripping his red cock in his fist and pumping frantically. Alastor is panting so hard, I doubt he heard me knocking.

"What da fuck?" I mutter in shock and his head snaps up, wide mortified red eyes locking with mine.

His other hand crumples what looks like a photo in his hand, hiding it from view.

"Angel," He gasps. "I can explain."