Secret Confessions (Book 1)

Angeldust

As mad as I am at the guy, I can't stop the smile from splitting my face as I listen to the screams of Alastor's victims while he sings a song I haven't heard for awhile.

A song that Alastor and I used to listen to often in the time I spent with him in Hell after reuniting, when I first introduced him to the soft jazz tune. It was a bit after he died that the song became more popular.

Nevertheless, he seemed to really enjoy it as we sat together in his lobby, green hellfire crackling in the stone fireplace. Me, scrolling through Sinstagram, and him, reading a book.

It's times like this that I really miss those stolen peaceful moments togetha'.

The live feed cuts out suddenly and I frantically fiddle with the radio dials, searching every station for his recognizable, deep, staticy tone.

Nothing.

A few hours. It's only been a few hours and I already miss him like crazy. Groaning, I press a hand to the top of the radio that Molly has in the spare bedroom for some reason.

"Ya were downright malicious and cruel. A fuckin' asshole. And yet, I miss yer stupid creepy grin. I crave yer touch. Damnit! Why do I fuckin' miss da man that said such awful things?" I mutter to myself, hand going up to pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"I miss you as well, Mon Ange." It's barely audible. So soft I almost miss it, but I hear it anyways.

Alastor.

"What da fuck?!?!" I screech and stumble back, onto the bed.

"Apologies if I startled you, my dear. I heard you through the radio waves and couldn't believe it. So, I figured I'd reach out." Raspy and a bit thick, it almost sounds as if he had been... crying.

Wait, that can't be right...

"Albert?" I ask, not sure why I'm asking. I know it's him, but I suppose a part of me just wants to hear his voice again.

"Yes, my Wildflower. It's me." Yep. Even strong and clear, he definitely sounds like he was crying. "Anth- Angel, I sincerely apologize for my behavior earlier. I put the rules in place for a reason, but it's not your fault the child got into my bedroom. She's merely an innocent child. My ire never should've been directed at you or her."

"No, it's my fault. I shoulda' kept a closer eye on Madilene. I got so wrapped up in catchin' up with my sista', that I didn't see that she had snuck away. I shoulda' known better. I'm so sorry Al." My voice catches and I scrub at the sudden tears stinging my eyes.

"Don't weep, my love. You know I can't bear to hear or see you weep. Especially when I'm not there to hold you." Alastor murmurs, tone strained.

"Well too bad, I'm gonna cry regardless." I huff halfheartedly, sucking in a shaky breath with a hiccup.

"Angel... I know I messed up. Could you ever forgive me? I loathe myself for hurting you."

"Did ya mean what ya said? That you'll neva' change fer anyone, even me." I answer his question with one of my own. A burning question that has been eating at me. A question I need answered.

"My words were harsh, but I meant them. At least the part you are asking about. Angel, you have to understand how hard it is for me. I've had to manipulate, kill, and claw my way to the top to become who I am today. To give it all up... it's something that I fear I'll be unable to do."

Anger flares and I ball my fists.

Okay, now I'm pissed!

"So I'm not even worth tryin'? You wouldn't even consida' bein' happy with me and where yer at now?"

"Angel-"

"I supported ya when ya first told me ya were a cannibal. I'm fine with yer choice of diet. Destruction, torture, and mayhem? I'm here fer it. Hell, I'll even help ya once in awhile ta feed my dark side. Ya bein' a feared Overlord? I don't mind. I see past da scary walls ya put up ta yer gooey centa'. But ya keep pushin' Albert. Ya keep pushin' fer more. More than what ya can handle. If ya keep ascendin', Lucifa' will see ya as a threat ta his throne and try ta kill ya. Why can't ya jus' be happy with me?"

Sudden searing pain rips through me, lighting every cell on fire and a raw scream escapes. Through blurry eyes, I can see my body encased in a bright green glow.

In the blink of an eye, the spare bedroom I'm sitting in, melts away like paint running down a wall and it feels like I'm falling endlessly through inky darkness.

Squeezing my eyes shut to block out the queasy vision around me, I breathe in deeply to control the thundering of my heart.

What da fuck is goin' on?

I jerk when I suddenly feel hands cup my face and my eyes snap open to see Alastor on his knees next to me, worry burning in his red gaze and blood splattered on one cheek. No doubt from the earlier massacre.

"Are you alright, Angel?"

"I'm fine." I mumble, vision swimming in and out of focus. "W-what happened?"

"I summoned you here so we could speak face to face."

"How da fuck did ya summon me?" My tone drips with acid, but comes out whisper soft.

I'm still trying to gather my bearings and by the looks of it, we are sitting in Alastor's house.

"I own part of your soul, dear. When I need you for a task, I'm able to summon you." His response has me gritting my teeth.

Of course, how could I forget something that important?

"Ya could've jus' asked ta meet somewhere, ya know." I seethe, blinking spots from my eyes.

"Doing that risks a chance of you saying no."

I scoff and look up to see him raise an unamused eyebrow. "Am I wrong?"

"No. I suppose not." I growl and he nods.

"Deepest condolences for the pain and dizziness, but I have to see you in front of me. Have to explain myself."

"Save it, Al." I hiss. "It's clear that I'm not enough fer ya."

"That's not it-"

Shoving his hands away, I scramble to my feet. "Even alive, It felt like ya held me at arms length. We were happy, yes. But there was always somethin' that felt off. Like part of ya thought I was a disease. A damn plauge that ya couldn't rid yerself of!"

"You don't understand-"

"Then why? Why hold me close and yet act so distant?!?" I yell, cutting him off.

"BECAUSE IT'S YOU, ANTHONY!"