Rags To Royals (Royal #1: Book 1) | ✔

26

-• new school •-

I've never seen Agastya smiling so hard before. Even with Yuvaan's taunts and playful remarks, his smile doesn't fade. It stays throughout the dinner, and everytime we make eye contact it just gets wider. I don't know whether what I did was right or wrong. I just know that I don't regret it.

I didn't get to say goodbye to my first friend. Mom always used to say abruptly broken bonds end up hurting both the ends. My hurt, I deserve it. His side of hurt, I hope he soon overcomes it.

I guess, somewhere he was right. Friendship with me wasn't worth the ruin he received. Janet must be feeling the same. I left her there, seven seas across, to suffer through the excruciating last two years of highschool even when I promised her I'll never leave her alone.

It's scary how proficient time is at making you do something your past self never thought you would do. Coming here, adjusting to this lifestyle, accepting the fact that I've a family apart from my dead mother and struggling to become one of them, it's all so different to what I thought my future would look like. It made me realise how little control we have over our life. All we can do is sail through it and make most of what's given.

Times like these make me guilty.

If only I told my mother over and over again how much I love her. Baked her those blueberry muffins she likes so much before her surgery. Jumped into the puddles with her during the rain. Watched the sunset while she reminisced Dad. Sprayed the water on her through the hose like I always wanted to but couldn't in fear of getting scolded. Spent more time with her in the kitchen. Ask her about her day. Tell her about mine.

If only I held Janet's hand a little tighter when we were crossing the roads. Smudged the icecream cone on her face like I always wanted to. Went on that imaginary riverside date with her dog. Fed the ducks. Painted like a toddler. Tossed colors on each other. Stayed up a little more on sleepover. Watched that horror movie we always chickened out at the thought of. Did all the things we wanted to but didn't because we thought we have so much time together.

Uncertainty is so scary.

Yet sometimes it's not.

Maybe it's only scary when you receive the bad.

Maybe it's scary because oftentimes you only receive the bad.

Or maybe, maybe we just look at the bad side of everything.

"What did you bake today?" Yuvraaj's voice brings me out of the thoughts. I point at the tray of blueberry muffins. He nods and orders the maid to serve them.

"This time they look good," Yuvaan comments as he examines the muffin in his hand.

"Did you order them from Hannah's Bakery?" Vivaan squints his eyes at me teasingly.

I chuckle and shake my head, opening my mouth to defend myself when Ayush beats me to it.

"Agastya Bhai let the poor girl bake in peace this time."

Agastya smiles proudly, his cheeks swollen like a chipmunk since he put the entire muffin in his mouth.

"Can you stop smiling? It's irritating at this point." Yuvaan rolls his eyes.

Agastya chews obnoxiously and burps right in Yuvaan's face.

"Ugh, disgusting!" Yuvaan slaps his hand on the latter's face and whips it in the opposite direction.

I giggle softly at their antics.

"Blueberry muffins," I hear dad say in realisation as he tears open the muffin in two. My gaze switch to him and I see his onyx eyes glossing over before he hesitantly puts the half of it in his mouth. His eyes slowly flutters close as he relishes in the taste, or if I'm to be honest, in the nostalgia. I could tell he was remembering her. He opens his eyes and inhales a deep breath, lowering his head so no one sees him in the weak moment. I place my hand on top of his, squeezing it gently. He looks at me, his gaze softening even more before he smiles at me painfully.