Rags To Royals (Royal #1: Book 1) | ✔

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-• a challenge •-

I know liking someone else when you're in a relationship is wrong, but I didn't really realise that until it became obvious. Though, I didn't two-timed Atharva. When I confronted my feelings and understood I was doing him wrong, I immediately broke up with him. If only I knew relationships are so messy, I'd have never gotten into one.

Am I really a bad human being?

I can't blame her. If someone hurt one of my brothers, I'd feel the same. Did I not immediately hate Vivaan's ex-girlfriend when he told me she cheated on him? I don't even know her name or how she looks or how their relationship was. Neither does he seem to care enough about it. But I disliked her and still do.

No matter how hard I try to justify myself, I'm in the wrong.

I helped Yuvaan plan revenge against Agastya and then pretended to be good in his eyes by helping him. I ruined Tarun's life by sending him off to boarding school. I gave empty hopes to Atharva and hurt him. They never did me anything bad, yet I made foolish decisions that hurt them in the long run.

I didn't do it intentionally though. I didn't choose to become a bad human being. I didn't even realise the consequences I'd have to bear when I did that. Am I that ignorant to other people?

Tears fill my eyes and trickle down my cheeks. I sniffle softly, trying to hold back the sounds as saliva and sobs blubber out of my mouth. I cry in my hands, burying my face in my palms in order to block the noise from reaching out. When I manage to calm down, I pull down the flush and leave the stall.

My eyes fall on my reflection, bringing a sense of insecurity from within.

"I don't even know what he liked in you. You're just a typical blue eyed fat British girl."

For the first time, I notice it. The bulkiness of my arms, the fat around my belly, the broadness of my hips, my thick thighs, and the vastness of my breasts. Ashamed of my own body, I look away, unable to look at myself in the mirror because all I can see is a fat blue eyed British girl.

I feel self conscious in my own eyes.

Didn't Shourya say the same? That I'm in need of a diet. I dismissed his words carelessly back then, but maybe I should have taken them to heart.

The vibration of my phone startles me loud. I pull it out of my pocket and read my eldest brother's name on the screen. Taking a deep breath, I even my voice with a clear of my throat and answer his call with a shaky finger.

"He-Hello?"

"Why are you not in the class?" He questions.

"I wasn't feeling well." I whisper.

"Where are you?"

"In the restroom," for some reason, my eyes tear up again.

"Go back to your class." He hangs up.

I stifle my cries and put the phone away to wash my face. The cold water splashes on my flush, swollen cheeks, soothing the unwanted warmth. I tear off the tissue from the dispenser and wipe my face dry, tossing the used paper in the dustbin. From all the crying and washing, my skin feels dry. I grab the mini bottle of moisturizer from my blazer pocket and apply it evenly on my face.

I return to the class, awkward when all eyes find me at the doorstep. The teacher lets me in without asking any questions. Grateful to her, I walk in and sit down at my desk.

"What's wrong?" Ayush asks in a whisper.

I shake my head.

"Did she say something to you?" He prods further.