Rags To Royals (Royal #1: Book 1) | ✔

44

Surprise! ✨

-• theme •-

I've been to countless birthday parties before. Some of them were of my classmates, some of them were the kids of my mom's colleagues, and a few of them were of my cousins. To cover my jealousy after attending those parties, I would indulge in calling those kids spoilt and immature. It was easy on my soul. I would reassure myself with the words like, useless, pointless, waste of time and extra calories. It worked wonders.

For a sixteen year old living in poverty, calling birthdays pointless was the only way to ignore that I was knee dip in miseries.

I was not one of those kids who'd make a scene if I didn't get what I wanted, torment my parents with demands, blame the circumstances or pretend I was not what I am. But during birthdays, it was hard to live with the reality.

More than half of my mom's salary would go to my school fees. I don't know who she was trying to prove, herself, me or the world, but admitting me to a private tuitions was a naive mistake she made as a new parent. And no matter how many times I said I'm fine with self-study as long as we have a little more money to cover our necessities, she never listened.

Parents have these "know it all" syndrome. They think they know what's best for their children. And while I do respect that sentiment, it's also important to ask what the child really wants. I'd have loved some monthly countryside trips more than the expensive cafeteria food. I'd have loved it if she hadn't overworked herself every day and instead spent a night watching movie with me. I wish she was there on my important days when I was alone on stage and looking forward to get a glimpse of a familiar face in the crowd. I wish she had made up for the lack of money by showering me with plenty attention and love.

Due to her stubbornness despite our financial condition not being stable enough, made us both suffer. In the end, none of us won.

Sometimes I feel bad for Yuvraaj. He definitely had to put on big man shoes very early in his life. But his "know it all" attitude is just like any other adult's and one day it's going to ruin things for him.

Second of February is more than just a normal day for everyone in this house. Everyone pretends to be unbothered about it but it clearly bothers them. I've been witnessing a tense atmosphere around the house for the last few days and when Vivaan told me their mother's death anniversary falls on the same date as my birthday, it didn't take me more than a second to join the dots.

Grief may not be as wanted as happiness, but it impacts our minds all the same. If Agastya wants to believe their mother was a good woman, let him believe it. Why would you ruin someone's perspective of a dead person just because it doesn't match with yours? Yuvraaj and Yuvaan need to understand this. Among everyone, they are the least empathetic and the thought really troubles me. Emotions are important. They may have stopped acknowledging them, but they still feel everything. And the more they bottle it all up, the more they push themselves into the dark. It's not healthy and it's definitely not helping the bond they have with people around them.

"Did you decide on the theme?" Agastya asks, spread like a butter on my once crisp sheets, which now lie twisted and creased beneath him.

"Do you not have your own room?" I scowl, dipping my brush in white, adding last touch to my finished painting.

I still remember the blue moon vividly. Night had never looked so beautiful before. The moment felt surreal, especially with him right beside the moon, stealing all the glory, shining through the dark, nor dominating it, neither being subdued, rather coexisting, like first snow that falls on a cold winter night. He really appeared out of the blue, on once in a blue moon night, and was absolutely clueless about how hypnotising he looked.