A Silent Hope

Chapter Thirty Two

Mackenzie

She left.

Well, she hadn't left yet, but she was leaving. Thalia was currently at my place packing her stuff up to go to her new place. Wherever that would be.

I grunted as I threw a punch at my opponent, the poor guy barely dodging. We kept going, with me using way too much force while he scrambled around. It only lasted a couple more minutes before Paul stopped and glared at me.

"What?" I shrugged.

"Stop hitting me. It hurts." He muttered and got out of the ring.

"It's boxing!" I called after him. "You're supposed to get hit."

Still walking away, Paul shot me an annoyed look over his shoulder.

Sighing, I moved to the boxing bags to let out my frustrations. I spent more than enough time beating up the inanimate object before I decided to be done with my workout. After my shower, I found my friend attempting to flirt with the new receptionist.

I visibly cringed at his stuttering but stayed at a decent distance while waiting. A short moment later, a flustered man dragged his feet as he walked my way. Paul sighed and lazily gestured to the door, not waiting for me to leave.

I jogged to his side, asking in a soft tone. "No luck?"

He grunted with a shrug of his shoulders. "Living in the same town your entire life sucks. If the girls don't see you as a dweeb, you're their brother. Or as that one in there put it, I'm 'Paul who stuck crayons up his nose and made elephant noises.' So stupid."

"Ever thought of moving?" I asked as we walked slowly towards my place.

"Why?" Paul had a genuinely confused look on his face.

I opened my mouth but decided to let it go. "No reason, man."

"Oh, okay."

On our walk to my building, my company would say something once in a while. But I barely heard him. My mind had already drifted to the woman at home. The woman who was getting ready to leave me. I wondered If she was done packing and gone by now. At that thought, I could feel the tightness in my chest. I didn't know how to feel when it came to Thalia anymore.

"I told Thalia I love her." I mumbled out, cutting off Paul's story about getting his head stuck in a fence one time.

"Huh?" He chuckled awkwardly. "Oh. Oh. You did? That's- how did that go?"

"I probably shouldn't have. Maybe it was too soon? Or not the right time? It just kinda...came out of my mouth and the next thing I know, she's saying she's leaving." I rambled. "All I know is, I feel like someone took a hammer to my chest."

"Fuck. Maybe me not finding anyone isn't so bad. This is what? The second woman you fall for and they don't love you back. Damn, Jace. Maybe you just have shit luck." He muttered, eyes forward until he realized I was glaring at him. "Sorry, buddy."

Though I knew his words were true, I still felt like there was something between Thalia and I. We'd come so far since our very first meeting. And even if she wasn't the best at expressing herself, I knew she did have her moments where she did.

Thalia

Take me as I am
Broken beyond repair
A life I'd once given up on
Only here because of fear
My hands stilled around the rope
Strained from pulling too hard
A sharp razor sliced across delicate skin
Just wasn't deep enough
The bruises have long faded
But the pain stays fresh
A life so desperate to be ended
I am breathing, I am trying
To rid myself of that heavy feeling
My lungs craves for air
My heart cries for love
Would anyone love the damaged person I've become?
Broken beyond repair
A life barely hanging on
A hope once loud, now silenced by despair