chapter 34

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By the time we were done discussing the plan, Much had three bowls of stew while the rest of us barely touched our first one. After talking about the everything, we began reminiscing about the past and telling stories we never told each other.

I got to these men more than I already did. I didn't know that Wills favorite color was yellow. He said it was because it reminded him of the sunset from his home. I never knew that John was married and had kids, but was separated from them when he was sent to war. When he returned his village was demolished and the dead bodies were to burned and charred to tell if they were his kids and wife.

He never talked about them because it hurt too much and I don't blame him. Too loose your wife and kids, the pain must've been unbearable.

Guy lightened the mood a bit buy telling us about why he went missing for so long. Getting caught with his pants down with someone's wife. How terribly......hilarious.

Much followed with cute stories of him in his siblings, and the smile on his face made my heart full.

Then it was Robins turn. He sat back quietly with a cup in his hand. "Something you don't know about me? Hmm let's see?" He began to think.

"Oh! I got it. You know how people say, before you die, your happiest moments flashes before your eyes. What would be your happiest moment?" Much asked.

Good question, Much.

Robin began thinking again and the a small smile appeared on his face. "The day we wee working on the hut and it started to rain so we had to run to the nearest cave for shelter."

The memory was a sweet one.

"Aha. Much kept falling in the mud, like a bumbling fool." John barked out a laughter.

"Yeah. And you started to pick on him, so he threw a ball of mud on you." Will said in between laughs.

"Oh. For fuck sake, I wasn't the only one laughing!" Yelled John.

"Yeah, but you were probably the only one being a cock about it." Said Guy under his breath. And he was right. Though me, Rob, and Will were laughing, we didn't pick on him. But John was being a bit of an ass.

"It was good day. I never felt closer to you guys than I did that day. It was the perfect day." Robin said.

It was. Oh how I wish I could go back to those times, when things were a little less complicated. When I was ignorant to my feeling for Robin.

"Your turn, M. Tell us something we don't know about you?" Asked Much.

There was nothing, these men knew almost everything about me.....well not everything. But all the things that count.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You guys know all there is to know about me. Got any specific questions?"

Guys eyes locked on me and I could see the hesitation in his eyes.

"What do you want to know, Guy?" I asked

He looked around the room and then back at me. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. But what is the thing that haunts your nightmares? I have seen fear in many shapes and many forms, but that night......you weren't just scared....."

John cuts him off, "Terrified." He said.

All eyes were on me. I could see that they all wanted the answer but I'm not sure if.....

"When I was with Fitzgerald, I had all types of clients. Some just wanted to talk. Some wanted me to sing. Some wanted me to dance. Some wanted me to fuck them. Some wanted to fuck me. I had people would see me once a week and I had people who'd see me every few month. And though I hated every second of it, it became......easy. I could escape during it and go to a wonder land in my mind, where no one would hurt me. But th-there was one m-man......one man I c-couldn't escape from. He'd c-come every M-monday and Friday. Only at n-night. He would re-request that the r-room was barely lit, and I was c-completely na-naked and c-cl-cleaned. Because of how d-dark the room was I c-couldnt ever see his f-face. But he d-did have a sc-scar around his ear. The only reason I kn-knew that is c-cause he would force m-me to touch every p-part of his b-body from the t-t-top of his head to the b-b-bottom of his feet. And though I c-couldn't see his face, his v-voice was engraved in my m-memory. Low, slow, malicious." As I spoke I stared at an empty spot on the floor. I didn't have the heart to look them in the eye.

"Some n-nights he would t-tie me up and b-beat me, never too hard that it leaves a s-scar or a bruise, but enough that it made me w-wish for it to stop. Other nights he w-would......" I stopped trying my best to find the right word, ".....p-play with me. There were clients who tried there best to make it not hurt and there were the ones who didn't care. But they were still better than h-him. He made sure it h-hurt every single time. I would b-beg him to stop, but he seemed l-like he liked it. He liked it when I b-beg. So I decided to s-stop, stop begging, stop t-talking. I wanted to gain s-some type of c-control but he w-would always find a w-way to make me......when he was s-satisfied, he would t-take me over to the w-washing area and c-clean me. He'd w-wash my hair, then d-dress me up in s-some of the finest clothes. And the, F-fitzgerald w-would come in and s-set a table with f-food and wine. And he would f-force me to eat with him. He is the th-thing that haunts my dr-dreams. The shadow th-that will n-never go away." I said.

The room was silent and the air was dense. I lifted my head and looked around at the boys, and I could see the fury in there eyes.

"Bastard....." Will murmured.

"To do that to a child........"John said.

Guy and Robin stayed quiet. But they both had the look of murder on there face.

On my side I heard a sniffle. I immediately turn to a teary eyed Much. I open my arms and squeezed him in a hug. After awhile we stayed in silence.

"Well, that took a dark turn." Guy murmured. I giggled.

"You asked." I said.

"I did. I did." He said mockingly.

After awhile, the mood lightened and we went back to laughing and having fun.

"Alright, alright! It's time for M to get her bandages changed." Will said.

The boys began to gather all the leftover food and plates and we began to make there way out. I waited for one of them to come back to do my bandages and surprisingly it was Robin. I immediately stiffened.

He carried a tray full of medicines and he shut the door behind him. I have been seeing a lot of Robin these last days and I'm not completely sure how to feel about it.

"Come on. Let's get started." He said as he made his way over to me. I began to strip and he began to bandage me up. We sat in silence, not speaking to each other. We could only hear each others breath. No and then his breath would catch when he would look at the wound on my neck or the fading bruises.

Once he was finished he gathered up all the old bandages and put them on the tray and just sat there.

"Is there something you wanted to say?" I asked.

He slowly turned to me and his eyes were locked in on mine. He began to search them, like he was looking for an answer. His shoulders sagged. He reached out one of his hands and grazed the bandage on my neck.

His expression went blank and he pulled his hand away. He put his hands in his lap and averted his eyes to them. He took in a heavy breath and he looked like he was about to speak but a knock at the door silenced him.

"Hey, M! You guys finished?!" Yelled Much from the other side of the door.

Robin stood up and took the tray with him. "Yeah we're done." He began to make his way to the door and before he opened it he looked back at me. "Sleep well, Marian." Then he left, without saying another word.

What was he going to say?

My hand grazed the area he touched. My neck wound. I knew it was gonna leave a nasty scar.

"Hey, M. Can I stay with you tonight?" Much asked pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked over to a smiling Much and I didn't have the heart to say no. I nodded my head and he made his way to my bed with a smile.

This should be fun......

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