Robin And The Girl With The Crimson Hair

chapter 35

After me and Much settled down for the night, we laid in bed and talked about everything. Some of the things we've talked about before but we still loved revisiting them.

"Favorite color?" I asked.

"I think it's changed. I've been liking blue lately. But not like royal blue, I mean like the sky blue." He said.

"I don't think mines changed. Forever and always, Green. How about your favorite story?" I asked. We went on and on about many things. Things that meant something and things that meant nothing. Then of course we talked about....

"So how are things with Robin?" He asked cautiously.

I took in a big breath and just shrugged.

"That great?" He said with a laugh.

"Almost every time we talk we argue. I don't know if it's because of what we did or because I ran off or because I got attacked. But these last few days hasn't been the greatest." I said honestly.

"Okay, how about you and Guy?" He asked.

And my eyes went wide. "What about me and Guy?"

"He had a thing for you. Even the blind can see that."

I rolled my eyes. "And? What that got to do with me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. He seemed like he wanted to say more but o didn't want to talk about me, Robin, or Guy. "You miss you family?" I asked him.

He seemed taken aback by my question but he soon nodded a yes. "Like crazy. I've missed a lot of my siblings lives." He murmured.

"Do your regret it? You know hunting for your family?" I asked and he responded immediately.

"Not one bit. We were starving. I would've broken every law in the land in order to feed my family. I didn't care of I risked getting killed or having my hand cut off. As long as they had meals to last the long enough, it was worth it." He said.

I know what it felt like to starve. It was a terrible feeling. The emptiness, not only in you stomach, but in your mind. The only thing that fills you up are the empty word you tell yourself to you can ignore the cravings.

To starve is a fate worse then death.....

And it is one of the worst ways to die.

"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?" I said in I him.

He turned his head to me. And gave me a cautious smile. "What?"

"I'm proud of you." I said.

"Okay?" He said wearily. "Mary, I want to tell you something, but I don't want you to think of me weirdly." He said.

I nodded.

"I know you hate secrets so I'm gonna tell you this. I'm not sure if the others guys know, but you are the first person I'm telling this to. Okay." He said avoiding eye contact. His eyes were fixed on tbe ceiling.

I began to stare at the ceiling to and just mumbled an ok.

"You remember when I told you I had a crush before? Well it wasn't a girl......."he said. My eyes widens and my head snapped to him. He fell for a guy. I let the shock simmer down. It wasnt that much of a shock to hear a man say he liked another man. In the brothel, though majority were women, we did have a few men there as well. However we never talked about them because there were meant to be kept a secret. But it didn't last for too long, the guys were able to escape, by dressing as a client or they would escape to the heavenly gates.

Love is love regardless of skin color, status, or sex. But I wouldn't lie if I didn't say I was shocked that Much had loved a man. I wonder what he was like. The man that captured Much's heart.

"Before you came we had another guy here. He was really cool and we were really close. And the closer we got the harder I fell. And I think he felt the same. I don't know if the rest knew how we felt for each other but if they did they never said anything. They just let us be." He said with a smile.

"What happened?" I asked.

"One day, something bad happened, and he just disappeared without a trace. I was so hurt, I didn't know what to do with myself. He left without saying a word. It felt like someone took my heart, and through it against a tree hundreds of times and the threw it in the middle of the road for horses and carriages to trample on it. To be abandoned by someone you love is one of the worst pains." He said.

My heart tugged at his words.

"To be abandoned by someone you live is on of the worst pains."

I was about to do exactly that. Leave him without a word. I could feel my eyes water. I'm so sorry little brother. It's for your own safety.

I cleared my throat. "What was his name?" I asked, trying to further conversation, so I don't keep thinking about the future.

"Doesn't matter. I'll probably never see him again." He said. His voice seemed so faraway and his face was blank. No emotion.

"Why'd you tell me this? Don't get me wrong I'm glad you told me, but it was kind of random." I said

He snapped back to reality and turned his whole body towards me. "You've told us everything about you, including the dark stuff you wanted to keep buried. So I thinks it's only fair that I tell you apart of me that no one knows. A secret for a secret. Now we really know everything about each other."

I reached out my had and touched his cheek. I began to run my thumb along his skin and leaned in and kissed his forehead. I pulled him close and squeezed him into a hug. His head rested against my chest and i cradled his head in my arms. "Thank you for telling me." I said.

He nodded. "Your both the only one whose damaged or broken. Everyone is a little broken. Some may be a little more broke than others, but we all need a little fixing. Your not alone, M. I'm here whenever you need me." He said as he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

I kissed the top of his head and nodded. "I know. I know."

"I love you, Marian." He said.

"I love you too, Much." I responded. And we fell asleep in each others arms.