10 Years Earlier
"I don't get it! You were fine just yesterday and now you're telling me that you wanna call it quits?" Chris stares at me in disbelief. "Has something been said? You seeing some else?" The questions start coming and I feel the guilt begin to rise.
I've broken his heart. All because he's too nice and I'm just doing him a favour by saying no to what he was suggesting. He wants marriage, a family, but I have an opportunity rising for me that will take me back to the UK, which would ultimately cause problems. I'm
Trying to make a name for myself, a step up the ladder on my career, and Chris's is only getting bigger now he's got more work coming his way."I'm not seeing anyone else I promise you, but I don't think I'm ready to settle. I want to have a career first or at least have a shot of it before I think about having children, we're both still young". I tell him honestly. "They have something lined up for me that could just be the break I need..."
"So you don't need me..." Chris now says quietly. "Do you love me?"
I nod. "I really do. And it's because of that I'm doing this".
He lets out a small Boston laugh. "I honestly thought what we had was real, god I'm stupid..." he curses himself and most likely the day he ever met me. "Fallon, I fucking love you, and you just wanna end a good thing like that?" He snaps his fingers. "Why can't you have a career and a family, other girls do?"
"Because I don't want to be some actress who simply has a kid only for it to be raised by a nanny while I'm working and travelling!" I exclaim. "When the time comes I want to enjoy my family, but first I want to at least try to do what I love".
"Has that always been the plan? To do it without me? Because you were sure as hell in mine, as well as my job". He looks even more hurt now.
"Of course it hasn't! But it means I'll be in the UK a lot more and we won't see one another as much, then we'll fight because of that and I just...I'm doing this to save us heartache!"
Chris shakes his head. "It's already happening". He puts the ring box he's been holding back in his pocket and then looks at me. "Shit, Fallon is this really happening?" He now asks with some disbelief still.
I nod. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I do love you, but..."
"Not enough to put a future with me first...I get it". He says. "I hope it's worth it though". Now he places a kiss on my cheek before he makes for the door, then turning back to look at me one last time. "Good luck Fal".
Then he's gone along with the future that perhaps we could've had together.
**
Present day
Whoever decided to set this whole thing up either hasn't considered history, or somehow it is a sick joke. Our paths haven't crossed in years, not since I turned him down for the sake of making my own name, and now in a messed-up twist of fate, we're sat next to one another on the Graham Norton show, and I hope to God that he isn't about to ask the question I think he is...
"So, Fallon..." Graham begins and I instantly sit up a little more, "Am I right in thinking that you and Chris here, dated once?".
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chris drop his head, either hiding a melancholic smile or complete awkwardness.
Show them how much of a great actress you can be Fallon...
"Erm, yes actually" I laugh nervously and reach for the wine that has been poured for me, "And now that you've asked that I'm going to take a long sip of this!" Graham is grinning as the audience laugh, "Not because it's awkward or anything!" I now confirm.
Chris is pursing his lips and sitting back on the sofa we're sharing along with two other guests. "But hang on! Hang on...I heard that you were engaged as well or was that a rumour..." Graham now questions.
Oh shit.
"Rumour" Chris now swoops in and saves the day while I take another awkward sip of wine. "We dated, what...at least ten years ago?" He looks at me and I nod. "Or less, but it was right at the start of our careers, and then we just kinda..."
"Got busy". I finish the sentence.
It wasn't that at all. He proposed, wanted a family, and I turned him down. That's the bottom line of it. I'm the bad guy in all this, too focused on my career to even care about hurting a guy who I actually had a future with...but he hit the big time too, and since then we've both gone on to have successful careers, except I have a failed marriage under my belt and he's still available.
"So...was it around the time you were going onto play Captain America? Or Earlier?" Graham says as I can sense Chris is wanting to die. He hates the attention.
Chris wets his lips and now looks thoughtful. "Erm...I think it was actually around the time I'd literally just auditioned for the fantastic four, so that was kinda when we called it quits"
Graham looks at us. "Any regrets?"
We both kind of look at one another and now I know I need to speak. "Er, I wouldn't actually say that there is, because we were young and sometimes things just don't work out. I'd never say I regretted dating you" I confirm to Chris.
"Well I totally regret you" He jokes with the same cheeky expression that I remember. "Totally! Worst girlfriend ever".
I turn to Graham and nod. "I actually was".
"So we've established that you are the worst girlfriend, and he's an angel - goodnight, everyone!" Graham jokes back and then continues. "So, is it not awkward for you guys to be sat here? Or are you actually friends? Did you keep in touch?"
I grit my teeth and make a pained expression. "This is actually the first time we've been in the same room together since we actually broke up". I admit. "But y'know we're both adults, what's in the past is there and is staying there, and I'd like to think we're both in a place where we've moved on and we're both happy with where we are in life". I look to Chris who nods in agreement at this.
Is he happy?
Did I really hurt him that much that it affected him in some ways, that he still thinks of me?
I'm pretty much miserable since my divorce but I guess that's karma. The price I have to pay for not saying yes and choosing a career over love. Meanwhile Chris looks like he's doing fine, but whether he has been over the years that have passed between us is another story.
The story of us.
And dare I say it's pretty tragic.
I could've spent nights awake thinking of what could have been between us. Would we have made it as a couple in wedded bliss? Would we have eventually had a couple of kids? Chris has always wanted a family so that would've been a big yes.
Could it have ended badly? Would I have ended up a divorcee anyway?
I guess I'll never know...
YOU ARE READING
Sparks (Chris Evans x OC)
FanfictionFallon St James is one of the most recognisable names in film and television, having made a name for herself over the years through hard work and dedication - a decision that cost her the only man she ever loved. Now, ten years later - Fallon is th...