A Lifetime Ago

Chapter 9

Warning: bit of abuse, suicidal thoughts

(16 years old - Next Month)

One month he's been away and I still haven't heard anything from Saul. I texted him and called. All about a million times and still nothing. I was distracted during classes, especially today. I was walking back to the suite thinking about how I was gonna need to get the notes from today's class off someone when suddenly a hand clamped around my arm and pulled me back and into an empty closet the door slamming shut after us. I turned around to see Andreas, his signature smug look on his face like he knew something you didn't. He took a step forward towards me and I took a step back not liking how close he was getting but my back hit the wall.

"I was never jealous of Saul. I'm more popular, even if it was just by a hair. I'm more liked by Rosalind. I have a title... but he had to have you." Andreas took another step forward, his face inches from mine but to the side so that his voice was merely a whisper in my ear "It's ok though. Cause I'm here now and he's not. It's just us two Farah." He laid a kiss on my jawline. At first the shock took over, making it impossible for me to react for a split second. Once I regained my cool I shoved him away and tried to make a break for the door handle but was shoved back against the wall, my wrists pinned above my head. I tried to struggle free of his grasp though he was too strong. I already knew where this was going, why the hell had I worn a skirt today. Part of me wanted to fight, yet the other part of me didn't see the point. It wasn't healthy of me to think that way but ever since Saul left... I've been in a dark place and blaming myself. I haven't been eating well or sleeping well and I'd let my mind wonder to dark place, suicidal thoughts. What was the point of living if everything was my fault? I would dip my head under the bath water a little too long, contemplating if this was a rightful punishment or not. Maybe this was karma finally catching up to me.

And then out of nowhere a small bit of me thought maybe Andreas was the solution to my problems. Maybe I needed to move on.

He tugged at the collar of my shirt and laid a few kisses along my collarbone. I still hadn't made up a plan of action for the situation when his rugged hands started to find their way to places they shouldn't be. That set me off on the right course. I squirmed beneath his grip trying to break free again.

"Andreas" I pleaded, the worry inside me slowly rising. I continued to struggle and that's when I felt the back of his hands swing against my cheek and the stinging that remained after.

"No need to play games Farah." He whispered then he forced his lips roughly onto mine. I moved my head to the side as best as I could but it was no use.

I tried to hide in my head, trying to separate any ties as to not be here in this room. My mind trying to find somewhere else to be. I closed my eyes tight. 'Anywhere but here' I repeated in my head until the world around me slowly faded to black.

When I came back to the present the door slammed as Andreas left. I gathered myself observing my surroundings. I found an old cracked and dusted mirror in a pile near the back corner. I picked myself up off the floor, my body sore and my legs protesting. I looked into the mirror taking in my appearance. The hair that had been neatly pulled back into a braided updo this morning was now a mess as pieces fell into my eyes. I sighed pulling out the elastics, regrouping the hair and pulling it into a simple ponytail that was definitely not my style. I did up the top few buttons of my blouse and ran my hands over my face trying to prepare myself again for the outside world. With a sad deep breath I pulled at the door handle and stepped out into the hall heading straight for my suite.

No one knew how to react to the horrid memory they had just observed. Andreas was nowhere to be seen anymore, probably dipped out not wanting to endure anyone's wrath - especially Saul's. Saul was enraged, partly blaming himself, partly Rosalind. He wished he could have been there for her. But he also wished she would have told him all the awful things she'd gone through while he was absent.

When I got to the suite I went straight to my room not wanting to interact with anyone. I felt a bit guilty for not answering the girls' greetings and questions, but I just wanted to be alone. I knew Rose wouldn't be in until late tonight as Thursdays were her date nights with Ben. I'd gotten close with Ben as well as did Saul from the double dates Rose used to force us into, I thought that when Saul left maybe he had said something to Ben. Yet another dead end. I flopped on my bed burying my head in my pillow and silently sobbing. The sobs left after a few moments replaced by emptiness. There was nothing good at Alfea. Just heartbreak, hurt, and sorrow. She thought back to her youth and the First World. Even the bad in the First World was 100 times better than Alfea and the Otherworld. Maybe there was actually another option other than suicide. I now understood why my parents had run, why they wanted nothing to do with magic and the Otherworld. I picked up my phone ignoring the texts from my roommates about the locked door and their concerns about my mental state. I scrolled through my contacts until I found the name I was looking for; Dad.

I clicked on his name and put the phone to my ear as it searched to connect to his phone. I was ready to leave everything, my friends, magic - even though I still couldn't use any thanks to Rosalind - and most of all I was ready to forget about Saul. Finally I heard the strong, somewhat calming ringggg of the phone at my ear. I waited. Ringgggg. That was when I started to panic. A bad feeling starting to overwhelm me, he always picked up after the first ring. Ringgggg. I could feel my heart beating in my chest faster and faster. Ringgggg. I waited still on edge. What was taking so long? Finally just as the fifth and final ring was about to sound someone answered.

"Hello?" I tested the waters

But the voice that replied on the other end of the phone was not my father's nor my mother's and I almost dropped my phone, my world collapsing around me as I barely processed the information given to me via the phone.

The student's hearts were heavy, one person should not have to go through that much in a lifetime, let alone one day.

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(Two Days Later)

I was sitting in the canteen staring blankly at a wall, in my own head as my suitemates talked about their classes. I still hadn't told them about the news I had received a couple days ago. My parent's house had burned down with them in it. They were rushed to the hospital but it was no use, the doctors were unable to resuscitate them. I was pulled from my thoughts at the sound of Andreas' voice.

"Farah," His usually sly smile appeared on his face "Walk with me" He prompted by nodding his head out to the side not really motioning to anywhere in particular. There was something in his tone of voice that made me feel it best to oblige so as to not cause a scene, especially in front of my suitemates. I could feel their confused and concerned looks piercing the back of my head as I stood and followed Andreas as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and guided me towards an exit. I didn't entirely listen to the one person conversation, picking up a few fragments here and there. I was stressed, depressed and miserable, especially here with him. A few of my dark thoughts came back to the surface, circling in my mind.

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AN- I just wanted to speak about the mental health piece. I am a strong advocate for struggling individuals and the mental health messages in general, especially the mental health of student athletes. Just know you are never alone, you are loved by at least someone in this world and YOU ARE worth it. I didn't want to go into too much detail in this chapter just in case it would trigger someone.

Also so sorry for the late update I was out of town