Renegade |Negan|

Chapter Seventeen: Fun Fight

***T/W: Slight mention of r^pe.***

"What the fuck was that?!" Negan shouted at me, pushing me harshly into his room and slamming the door behind us. Despite the anger, his tone, the fact that he pushed me so hard I lost my balance, or the fact that I was pretty sure I rolled my ankle on the escort over here, I turned back to him and stood tall while also taking off the awful black heels I was wearing.

"Why'd you say no?!" I shouted back at him, tossing the heels to the side of the room.

"Why would I agree to bullshit like that?!" He asked in fury, stepping towards me, "You are one wrong fucking move away from me beating your cousins fuckin' brains out!" He screamed and I could feel the heat cover my face as anger fueled my lungs and I couldn't keep it down anymore.

"You're a fucking asshole! All you do is take, take, take and you say it's for the good of your people or for my own good, your wives own good, but you never fucking give anything back! All they wanted was to have the provisions you're supposed to give your people anyway! You coerce women into marrying you under false consent and you think that when you have sex with women who only married you to save their sister or their mother or their husband, that it isn't rape, but it is! You're a fucking monster and I wish your men had just killed me before I had the absolute misfortune of meeting you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, sure that any person or walker would be able to hear me from a three block radius. In an instant, he was in front of me, holding me by the throat as he glared into my eyes.

"Maybe I'll do it myself, huh? Is that what you fucking want?!" He asked, visibly shaking. I tried to choke out words, looking around the room for anything to help me out here.

"Ne...Gan..." I managed to breathe out gripping at his hand and trying my best to claw him off of me. Before I could get too lightheaded, he let go and my body collapsed to the floor as I instantly began coughing and gasping for air.

"Why can't any of you just be fucking happy with what I do provide! I give you food, a roof over your head, a place to sleep! I give my wives good dick and no need to work!" He shouted.

"Nobody... cares.. about your penis, Negan," I choked out and he paused, looking back at me.

"What was that?"

"I said nobody cares about your penis!" I said as loud as I could, and I watched his emotions clear as he almost instantly began giggling like a school girl, "What?" I asked.

"Say it again," he laughed.

"No! Why are you laughing? This is a serious conversation and you just choked me, dick!" I glared, steadying myself on the foot of his bed as I tried to stand.

"Lou, you finally said it. You said penis!" He exclaimed, and I looked at him with the same fury in my eyes as he had moments ago.

"I'm gonna fucking end you!" I shouted, lunging at him. He stopped laughing just in time for me to tackle him down to the ground, but... then what.

Well, do something Lou! Right now you're just straddling him!

"This is the part where I punch you," I said, but didn't move to do so, and he didn't seem too much in a hurry to get out of the way.

"So, what are you waiting for?" He asked, smirking. I glared once again and brought my fists to his chest, barely touching him as I threw as many pretend punches as it took to get my anger, frustration and energy out.

"Pow, pow, pow!" I said with every fake punch, frowning as I knew I should actually hurt him. I shouldn't hold back. He just choked me for God's sake! But I couldn't bring myself to it. Hurting living humans wasn't as morally easy as hurting walkers, but I could still do it. So why wasn't I?

I felt myself break as slowly but surely, my punches slowed down and tears began to prick my eyes. His laughter slowed then stopped as his expression held worry instead.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said, reaching up and taking my wrists into his hands, stopping my punching as tears began to stream down my cheeks. Why? Why couldn't I stay furious without breaking down? This must've been a new record for me, crying twice in one day. I slid off of him as he sat up and I just sobbed. This was it. I'd never be free again and he was the cause, "Talk to me sweetheart, what happened? We were just having fun," he said and I pulled my hands out of his.

"No, Negan. You were having fun. It's always your fun, nobody else gets any," I cried, hugging my bare arms to myself. I missed my dad. I missed my clothes. I missed being outside these walls. The tears wouldn't stop as I dropped my head into my knees, wheezing and sniffling and sobbing like a..., "You were right," I sniffed, "I am a baby," I cried.

"Come here," he cooed, trying to pull me into him, but I swatted his hands away and looked up at him. I knew what I was feeling now. Hurt, anger, betrayal, loneliness...

"You can't comfort me over you," I stated simply, taking a deep breath to try and ground myself as I looked away, "When's the next run?" I questioned, wiping the tears from my face.

"That's none of your concern," he said, but it wasn't mean, it was more of a worried tone to it.

"I want to go on it," I replied, "I need clothes," I added.

"You have clothes," he retorted.

"I need real clothes, not a skank-drobe," I argued, frowning, "I can feel this underwear up my ass crack and it is the opposite of comfy," I stated, fully aware it was TMI.

"Take it off then," he said and I squished my nose up in disgust at the idea of removing clothes in front of him.

"Please just let me go on the next run," I said with a breathy, shaky voice.

"No, Lou, it's not happening. You're my wife now, I protect you and keep you safe. Here is safe," he said and I about snorted a laugh. Protect me? The man just threatened to kill me and almost did.

"Just one run? If I don't find anything I'll give it up and wear whatever you want," I tried to negotiate, which caused him to groan as he laid back on the floor.

"You're seriously gonna kill me, kid. You know that?" He asked.

"I know a few people who wouldn't complain."