Renegade |Negan|

Chapter Twenty Four: It's Called Foreplay

"Holy shit," I breathed out, instantly clamping a hand over my mouth as soon as Negan pulled away.

"Goddamn," he said in the same breathy voice, smiling at me.

I couldn't deny it anymore. I felt something towards Negan other than hatred. I was actually starting to like this bastard. God, I sounded like some protagonist of a teenage rom-com book—not that I read a lot of them, or anything... I stared into Negan's twinkling eyes with jaw agape and hand covering my mouth for just a moment longer before ripping away from him. When I tried to speak, it ended up just coming out in incoherent ramblings before I finally huffed and shut my mouth once again, glaring at the man before me.

Oh, my God. My first kiss was with Negan. Negan of all people!

"That was rude," I finally spat out and he simply laughed at me.

"You kissed back," he pointed out and I avoided his gaze.

"Well, I had no other choice, did I?" I asked, although I knew I had another choice. I could have just... Not kissed back. But I did and now I was utterly regretting it. I knew that was going to be thrown in my face and used as any kind of leverage as he could have it.

"Sweetheart, it's been a long time since anyone's kissed me back like that," he said and I squished my nose up in disgust.

"Yeah, it's 'cause no one wants to kiss you," I retorted. His eyebrows raised, but he didn't wipe the smirk off his lousy face.

"But you do," he said and I spat out a sarcastic, nervous sort of laugh.

"What are you talking about? I-I only kissed you because... Because I had to," I stuttered, rolling my eyes as if it was 'duh, obvious'.

"Sure you did," he teased.

"Whatever. You know what? I couldn't care less what you're doing with your wives or with that baby crib. In fact, I couldn't care less about you. I only came around to tell you that I'm going on a run and there's nothing you can do about it. I already spoke to one of your men and everything," I lied, turning on my heel to leave his room in haste while he laughed behind me. Before I could reach the door, I felt his hand catch a hold of my arm as he practically tossed me right back into the room.

"You're not," he said simply, an almost sadistic smile plastered to his lips.

"You can't stop me," I stated, trying to stay as confident as I could while he stepped toward me, towering above.

"I can," he said, giving me a short shove down onto the bed. I took a glance around, trying to comprehend what was happening before he leaned over, inches away from my face, "Maybe I was wrong. Do you know what you really are, Lou?" He questioned, something new in his eyes that I hadn't seen before, and a tone in his voice I hadn't heard before. Truly, it intimidated me.

"What?" I managed to stutter out.

"Mine," his voice was low and gruff and terrifying. He pressed his hands to the bed on either side of me and leaned in, presumably to go for another kiss. Instead, I flopped down, laying flat down on the bed apart from my legs that were hanging off the edge. At the sight he looked down at me and sighed, "What are you doing?"

"I just feel like this is all moving really fast and I honestly hardly know anything about you and this all feels quite uncomfortably sexual so I just am here now," I rambled out.

"It's called foreplay, sweetheart," he stated and I nodded.

"Yeah, okay, I know about that. That's usually what happens before that other thing that, you know, I've also never done before," I said as he climbed on the bed beside me, reaching down and twirling a piece of my hair in his fingers.

"I'll be gentle," he said softly.

"Somehow, I don't know if gentle means the same to you as it does to me," I said, moving away and pushing myself up on the bed, basically crab crawling my way to the pillows, "I just—Can we get to know each other more first?"

"Lou, we're literally married," he pointed out.

"And you never took me on that after-wedding-dinner you promised," I physically pointed at him.

"So, what? If I take you to dinner, you'll sleep with me?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow, but it didn't feel entirely serious.

"I don't know, I'm confused!" I exclaimed, "But maybe I'd be more comfortable with the idea if we actually did... Couple-y things," I said, pulling my knees to my chest with my arms almost in the same way as a toddler. He chuckled in front of me, glancing away as he did so.

"You know, ten minutes ago you said you hated me and now you're wanting to do 'couple-y' things," he pointed out, scooting his way up on the bed.

"Yeah, well... That was before you kissed me," I mumbled. He looked over at me with that smile—that charming smile, no sign of his sadistic tendencies anywhere to be found, just his genuine... happiness.

"I'll tell you what, you go get ready and I'll take you on that dinner date tonight. Will that make you feel better?" He suggested. Would it? I wasn't sure of many things anymore. Still, I started to slowly nod, before starting to unravel myself to get out of his bed, "Hey," he caught my attention just before I could and I turned back to him. As soon as I was facing him, his hand cupped my cheek much more on the gentle side than it had been on the back of my head earlier, and he planted a soft kiss on my lips. This was a kiss I didn't even know a guy like Negan could be capable of, but considering it was my second kiss ever, what did I really know?

This time I kissed back without the hesitation, placing a hand on his chest to steady myself as I leaned into it. I wasn't really sure if it was longer or shorter than the first one, but it was just as nice, if not nicer. After a while, we both pulled away, and his smile instantly returned.

"I'll go get ready," I said, and with that was off to my room.

What the hell was I thinking? It was Negan for God's sake! It was the literal devil in disguise! I was supposed to already be out of here and escaped! This place wasn't my home, I didn't have a home, I didn't have friends. I didn't need friends, or any people. I'd never really had them before, why would I need them now?

This getting close to Negan deal was starting to become a real big problem. I couldn't see it going to well for his leadership either. I know there were people who'd like to see him be a little nicer, but I also knew there were people that would challenge him if they saw him being 'weak' taking me to dinner. It's just how people are. No, I couldn't stay. This couldn't happen. I continued to repeat to myself that it was just a case of Stockholm syndrome. It's what Oliver had too. We've been here too long, made ourselves too comfortable. Negan wasn't going to care about me, not now, not ever. He was simply manipulative, trying to make me feel like he could when in actuality it was all about power. I knew men like him and they don't change. I had to leave and it had to be soon...

But first, dinner couldn't hurt.