𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ( 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐎𝐧𝐞)

𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐌𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞.
~𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐰~

𝐋𝐢𝐚

"Are you scared?"

I hear Luca ask me, but my brain and mouth are worlds apart. I can't seem to find my voice fast enough to reply.

I'm lost in the past to the first time my father handed a toy gun to Luca and me to shoot each other. We thought it was a game, yet somehow we couldn't bring ourselves to hit each other. Then there was the first time we held a real gun.

We were nine years and eight months in a shooting range underneath this same house. It's crazy that I was brought up to inherit a violent world but somehow ended up wanting to be part of Hollywood. A fantasy world where I could be anything and anyone —a character to entertain the masses.

"Are you scared?" Luca asks again. And although I still can't find my voice, I shake my head. It's the truth. I'm not scared. I'm curious, anxious but not frightened.

My past might feel like a fantasy or horror movie if I narrate some of the things I remember, like the first time Luca and I found out what our fathers did for a living or the first time we saw a dead body. I still don't know whether it was a mistake on their part or by design; they wanted us to see it. The latter is plausible if you consider they never make mistakes. Every move is calculated, every plan has plan b or c. It's their way of life, the same life that awaits us.

***************

Luca sneaks out of my room before five in the morning after making love with me. It's the same, if not more beautiful. Neither of us is worried or concerned about the impending meeting, perhaps because the patriarchs will be there with us as we venture into the world we were both born into.

My father is the head of our family. It's an interesting story how they decided on him. Uncle Bruno said he couldn't be the head because he is too lazy and has no sense of democracy; uncle Rom claims he has limited patience for whining, overgrown greedy ass men, while my father is the opposite. He is democratic unless provoked, and he is patient, but he also has no time for disloyalty. However, the three are similar in that they are all beasts, lethal, brutal, and unforgiving.

I'm not sure what a woman wears for such a meeting. I would have asked my mother, but she wasn't part of this world, and neither would I tell her. This wasn't her heritage; it was her children's, plus I didn't want her to worry, just as I knew Luc wouldn't tell his mom.

I wore red kneel-length boots, a deep red blouse paired with a crimson-colored leather skirt, and a fitting blazer of the same colour. Looking at the mirror, my image felt unreal—I felt unreal—fire and blood, I thought as I plucked my red-painted lips while blushing my flame-looking hair through my fingers.

Once I was done, I left my bedroom with only my phone in hand.

"Lia," I heard my mom calling when I passed the kitchen.

"Yeah," I said, turning back. She moved from the oven, her hair, so much like mine, tied in a ponytail, her worried gaze on my face.

I smiled, making sure my eyes reflected the same. I would never want her to be worried about me or any of us.

"Where are you going?"

"To the office with dad and uncles," I mumbled, brushing off a streak of flour from the tip of her nose.

"What about?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, giving the impression it wasn't a big deal.

"Your father hasn't told me anything." she was grilling me. While I consider myself a good liar, there was a way my mom looked at me that got me fidgeting, especially when I was lying.