The Fading Star

Rui: In The Next Life I Promise That I'll Save You

(This whole chapter is in Rui's Pov)
TW: Mentioned $uicide

We were each given an envelope containing a letter and was then told that it'd be best to read them in private.

Emu was picked up by one of her brothers to go home, while Nene an I walked home together.

The walk was silent, the only sounds being the snow crunching beneath our feet.

"Rui?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you think he did it?"
"I don't know. But there is something that I don't understand."
"Is it the fact that he always looked fine?"
"Yeah."

We didn't talk for the remainder of the walk.

"Bye Rui."
"Bye."

I walked to my backyard and entered my garage(room).
-I'm not joking his room is a literal garage.

I closed the door and sat down.
I could feel my hands were shaking as I took the letter out of the envelope.

" Rui,
I hope that I didn't disappoint you by doing this.
I want to thank you.
Thank you for staying in the troupe.
Thank you for doing shows with us.
Thank you for being there for me.
Thank you for encouraging me.
Thank you for helping  me smile.
Thank you for being my friend.
I know that in the future you'll be an amazing person.
Please don't blame yourself too much.
I wanted to tell you about what I was doing.
I really did.
But... if you started thinking poorly of me I didn't think that I would be able to handle it.
So I'll tell you now.
Now that I'm gone I don't think that you think any lower of me.
I've been cutting for a couple months.
The negative words going around in my head has been going around since middle school.
It just kept escalating...
I couldn't control it.
I just couldn't find a reason on why I needed to live.
I had a special notebook.
It counted down until the day I would jump.
I also had a list of the things I wanted to do before that day.
There were a few things I wasn't able to accomplish in time.
One of those things was telling you something.
I wanted to tell you that I love you.
Not that it matters.
I know that you'll find someone better then me.
Please live a long happy life.
I don't want you to be like me.
I want you to grow old and pass away peacefully.
I don't want you to leave this world with any regrets.
-Tsukasa Tenma"

I could feel tears on my face.
I hugged that letter as I cried.

"Oh Tsukasa... I don't think you realized how much you meant to all of us.
If there really is a next life, I promise that I'll save you.
Maybe in that life I'll be able to tell you that I love you.
I hope that you're finally at peace."