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HEAVY TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM
✧˚ · .
SEBASTIAN MILKOVICH STARED OUT HIS WINDOW WITH A BLANK STARE. there was a blizzard, and it was boring. valerie ended up finding the hiding spot for sebastian's drugs on the night of their sleepover — she took them, of course ( temporarily ) and sebastian was irked.
he was bored, and his friends were forcing him to take his meds, and he fucking hated it. if he was irritable off drugs, he was even more so on antidepressants. everything irked him, and that meant everything. the snow was bothering him, because he just wanted to see his friends. he wanted to see ian. the dumb fucking red head with his pretty blue eyes, and his cute freckles.
ian was pissing him off, the feelings and just talking to him. sebastian was on the phone with the talking red head, and sebastian's only giving him short one word answers and hums. ian noticed this and became concerned. "you doing okay, seb?" ian asked the noirette who took a second to process the question.
"yeah." he said, monotoned. "these meds don't make me feel anything. it's boring." sebastian mumbled.
"yeah, val just needs you to calm down with the drugs for a bit, she—" ian began just to get cut off by an angry sebastian.
"i don't need to fucking calm down, i just fucking need something!" the noirette raised his voice, throwing his phone onto his bed. he cursed under his breath, covering his eyes with a deep sigh. "sorry." sebastian mumbled after picking up his phone.
"yeah, no worries, seb." ian forgave the noirette.
"i just— i cannot function at all right now." sebastian tightly shut his eyes, cursing before hanging up. ian didn't get the chance to respond when the noirette hung up. ian sat there with a frown, lowering the phone and looking at it. the red head sighed, tossing the phone onto his bed.
ian didn't know that that was what his meds did to him, otherwise he wouldn't force the noirette to take them. but ian also knew it was the only way to try and make him feel better, because ian knew about sebastian's depression. ian knew that his depression was severe, as well as multiple other diagnoses backing it up and making it worse.
ian felt so bad for the noirette.
sebastian did have an appointment with his psychiatrist that day — but was postponed due to the blizzard. sebastian just kept staring outside, listening at the wind whistled against his window. he tried to think of anything, anything to make himself feel something other than anger. he just wanted to feel. even after the longest time of wishing that he wouldn't feel anything anymore, he wanted to feel something.
