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ANASTASIA HAD DECIDED THE BEST WAY TO TAKE OUT HER STRESS WAS ON A SANDWICH. She found the ingredients in the fridge and got to work creating her coping mechanism. Once she had finished she took a bite and cringed and gagged. She chucked the sandwich against the wall and yelled. "Screw this!"
She didn't know why she was feeling these emotions. This was an emotion that she hadn't known of before. A wave that met a new beach.
She heavily breathed in and out, but it wasn't working. She had never felt so stressed with anything before. She turned around to see Ingrad leaning against the wall. "Stressed?" She asked, heading into the kitchen.
"I didn't invite you in here." Anastasia mumbled under the breath. She watched as the blonde continued her way to the sink.
"You're right. I came in all on my own." She placed both of her hands on the sides of the sink and towered over it.
Anastasia looked the back of her up and down. "Do you need something, or are you planning on just standing there."
"I hope your anger doesn't jeopardize the mission." Ingrad said, still looking down in the sink.
Anastasia whipped her body around to face the back of Ingrad. There were so many things she could have said right then and there, but Anastasia didn't know what to say. Anastasia stuttered trying to get a simple word out. Ingrad had seemed to have her in a chokehold of stress turned to anger. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It seems like you want to destroy everything." She turned to face Anastasia. Her eyes locking hers. "If you take it out on a sandwich, then who knows what else you can take your anger out on."
"You don't know what your talking about." Anastasia replied, still looking her in the eye. "You don't know me."
"You're absolutely right. But I..." she paused, like she had a damaged memory. "I've seen this before. I'm just trying to help you."
Anastasia scoffed. "By calling me out?" She started to move closer to Ingrad. "By trying to tell me to not feel anything?"
"I didn't say that. I just said you might jeopardize the mission. You need to control your emotions."
"I can control them just fine. I don't need your help. I don't want your help. I need you to leave me alone." Anastasia said. In reality, she had no idea what she wanted.
"Where did this even come from? You were acting fine when we had the meeting." Ingrad asked.
Anastasia continued to stay silent. What could she say? "I don't know." She said quietly. "I just started to feel like this."
"Why?" Ingrad asked once again.
"Don't you think if I knew I would have said something? If I knew we wouldn't be having this stupid conversation." Anastasia sat down on the floor. She pushed her knees to her chest. "There's something wrong with me, I think."
Ingrad sighed and bent down to Anastasia's level. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're entitled to your own emotions. I don't know why you are feeling like this until you do."
Anastasia sniffled. "What if I don't to know?"
"You're gonna be stuck with this feeling until you can't take it anymore. Then it will turn into rage and spite and hate. You need to let it out while it's young."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're wise for a sixteen year old?" Anastasia chuckled.
Ingrad smiled. The smile turned into a frown. "Has anyone ever told you that you've had a lot to deal with for a fourteen year old? That you're mature for your age?"
Anastasia looked up, confused. "Seriously?"
Now it was Ingrads turn to smile. "Seriously. When I was fourteen I was trying makeup on and dancing to Brittany Spears. And here you are being a badass. Your parents should be proud of you."
Anastasia stopped smiling as the thoughts of her dad poured in. She never thought about it, until now. Up until this point she thought about her and her mom. Taking the world by storm. The Gilmore Girls of S.H.I.E.L.D. But now she felt like she needed to know more. "I don't know who my dad is." She said quietly. "But I think I want to find him."
"You think or you know?"
"I know. For once in my life I know." Anastasia stood up. "I want to find my father. And I want you to help me." She demanded. "That is if you want to."
Ingrad placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know how you feel. I didn't know who my dad was until a god came from the sky and fell into my hometown. Of course I'll help you."
(1.27.23)
I haven't updated this since Thanksgiving. I'm actually so embarrassed right now. I literally love this story line. Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed the story. And I'm sorry it's taking so long to update. BUT my resolution for this year is to try and update more.
