𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 || 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘

WORRY ABOUT YOU OWN SHIT

liani had her head laid next to her moms as she ate popcorn, a random movie playing and she listened to her mom speak. the pill, whatever it was, had worked fast and liani wasn't comprehending most of the things her mom was saying.

"so, you and that boy still together?"

liani turned, scratching her head. "uh, yeah."

her mom nodded, "do you love him?"

liani furrowed her eyebrows, "i don't know..."

"why don't you?" her mom asked.

she shrugged, "i just.. i don't know, how would i know?"

shrugging, "i think lobes different for everyone, so i don't know, i guess you would just.. know."

liani moved slightly, "um, i think i do, yeah."

liani swayed back and forth next to juliet who was telling her about monty taking her out on a date, before turning and stopping mid sentence. "are you okay?"

liani nodded, "yes, why?"

juliet narrowed her eyes, titling her head slightly. "um, i don't know you just.. never mind."

like before, almost every body believed liani was getting better, staying sober.

the two walked down the hall way, liani telling juliet all about her mom apologizing and them watching a movie, skipping the part where she took whatever pill.

"what?!" juliet turned.

"yeah." liani nodded.

"do you forgive her?" juliet asked.

"no. i just felt bad, i thought she was dead and what if she does end up dying sometime soon, you know? she'll die knowing i like, hate her." liani said truthfully.

juliet modded in understanding, "yeah. so what are you gonna do now, if she talks to you more and stuff?"

"i don't think it's going to change much, she's still doing drugs and she's passed out all the time." liani chuckled slightly.

liani spun around in ashtrays chair that sat in front of his computer, as she kept the conversation the two were having, going. her brain was moving slower than his words, meaning she was taking a few to actually understand anything that he was saying, before responding.

she had spent the whole day with juliet, after she had insisted liani come over to her house after school. ashtray had picked her up from juliet's house, and hasn't noticed that liani was high.

"your birthdays soon, whatchu want?" ashtray ended the conversation and asked.

liani stopped the chair, getting dizzy and feeling her stomach start to hurt because of it. "um, i haven't thought it."

liani knew her birthday was coming up in less than two weeks, but she never paid her birthday much attention. she hasn't thought about the things she wanted or what she wanted to do yet, she thought she'd just end up doing what she did last year, hangout with her friends and celebrate how old she turned. and she'd just tell whoever asked what she wanted, that she was fine with anything.

she hated thinking about aging. she would be turning sixteen, meaning she would be one year closer to being an adult, she'd eventually have to get her permit and then drivers license, and there would be too many responsibilities and things she'd have to worry about.

"you know what you doing for it yet?" ashtray asked,
leaning back on his bed.

"nope." liani popped the P, "cat said i should throw a party or something."

ashtray cringed, "don't do that bullshit."

liani laughed at his hatred for parties, "i don't know, i haven't thought about any of it."

he nodded, looking over at her and watching as her head laid back on the chair, looking up at the ceiling as it looked like a million thoughts ran through her mind. "i could just stay with you, we could do something." she spoke softly.

ashtray nodded, "whatever you want."

she let out a sigh, closing her eyes. "you know, i always dream of leaving town for the weekend and just living a different life for awhile. like, be a different person and do things i don't usually do." she spoke her mind out loud.

ashtray only listened.

"if i'm being honest, i would love to do that for my birthday. i even asked juliet once if she would go with me, but you know, her mom would worry and stuff." liani kept on speaking lowly.

she glanced over at him, "and i wouldn't want you to leave fez." she shrugged her shoulders, "i'd probably go alone, anyway. be away from everyone for awhile."

ashtray furrowed his eyebrows, he could now tell that something was off with liani, and he felt dumb for not noticing earlier. he watched as she continued talking and was moving her hands around, as well as making a few face expressions and then chuckling here and there. "lani, are you high?"

liani stopped mid-sentence, glancing over at him. she let out a scoff, "here we go." she mumbled.

ashtray sat up, letting out a sigh. "i thought you've been sober?"

"i was sober." she told him, not making eye contact.

"what'd you take?" he asked, standing up slowly.

she shrugged, giving him the simple answered that she didn't know.

"fucki-" he shook his head, "liani you told me you were gonna stay sober."

she threw her arms up, "i lied. i don't know what you want me to say, ash."

he furrowed his eyebrows, "i want you to say why you relapsed."

liani was becoming exhausted of everybody's constant torture about staying sober. she hated how everyone acted better than her, watched her, always checked up on her. she understood some of it was nice, they did it because they cared for her, but she was tired of it.

she stood to her feet, "what if i just don't want to stay sober, ashtray? why does everyone make it such a fucking big deal that i'm doing shit, when it's really none of their fucking business?"

liani looked up at ashtray now, not breaking eye contact as his face hardened at her tone. "you have your own shit to worry about, okay? stop worrying about me all of the time." she told him, pushing past him out of his room and heading for the front door.

"yo, you good, lani?-" fezco watched her walk past him, before watching ashtray quickly walk after her.

"liani, fucking wai-" ashtray was cut off by the front door closing, and he let out a huff.

AUTHORS NOTES:
hi guys

thoughts and opinions?

liani?

catalina?

juliet?

sam?

.