forever and always [ spencer reid x reader]

lauren

After what happened that night, we were all at the hospital waiting for JJ and Hotch that wanted to stay with Emily in case she'd woke up.
Me, Garcia, Derek, Spencer and Rossi were in the waiting room.
We saw JJ walking toward us, everyone raised their heads, trying to figure out from JJ's look if she was ok. But she wasn't.
Garcia was the first one who noticed it and started crying.
JJ's eyes were red and full of tears, too tired to speak up.

"she never made it off the table" she said.

Reid suddenly got up from the couch and he  walked toward JJ.

"But I didn't have the chance to say goodbye." he said. When she hugged him, Hotch came in the waiting room. He saw a destroyed team, their friend just died, plus he's the chief he had to take an important decision.

"We will catch him" Hotch said.

"How?" Morgan asked

"As we always have" Hotch answered.

The funeral was a few days after what happened.
It was a bright day of march when we buried our friend.

After the ceremony I was sitting on a bench under a tree, in front of Emily's grave.
After leaving, Hotch saw me and he sat next to me.

"We have a week off, I've already spoken with Strauss this morning" he said
At first I ignored him, we've just buried our friend, why would I care how many days off we have?

"I think it's my fault" i said to him

"why are you telling me this?" he asked

"Cause i was with Morgan when we found her, but Doyle was running away and I followed him, leaving Derek all alone with Emily"
"What if he needed me and I wasn't there?" I answered.

"Morgan blames himself too, have you already spoken to him, after the funerals?" he asked

"not yet"

"but I wish things went different that night" I continued.

"yeah me too" he nodded.

He got up and left the graveyard while Spencer was coming in the opposite direction.
He sat next to me and looked at Emily's grave.
Then he turned around, checking if there was someone listening to our conversation.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said.

"Sure" I answered.

"Have you noticed something weird in JJ's behavior today?" he asked.

"No, why?" Actually I noticed something strange in Hotch's behavior not in JJ's.

"She didn't cry today, and she continued looking at Hotch."

"Yes but even Rossi didn't cry." I replied.

"Listen, I don't think it's a good idea talking about this right now in this place, it's too silent." I continued.

"You're right." he answered.

he was trying to hide his tears from me, during that conversation he couldn't look me in the eyes. He just stared at Emily's grave while he was talking to me.

"I think I should go now, call me later ok?" he said.

I waved at him forcing a smile. This conversation made me think about what happened a few days before, at the hospital.
While we were leaving I saw JJ talking to Hotch that night, but I didn't understand what they were saying. Spencer was right: under those lost and confused looks there is also a bit of mystery and tension between them.

When I got home, after the funeral, I called Reid, I probably figured out what was going on.
He didn't answer.

"Spencer it's me, call me back I figured out something." I texted to him.

He read my message about an hour later.

"meet me at Rossi's house tonight, the rest of the team wanna help us with the Doyle case."    he answered.

"what are we going to do?" I asked.

"what we've always done"  he answered.

hi,
I know that this chapter is kinda short but I have a lot of ideas and I need to divide my ideas in different chapters that can be longer and shorter.
thanks <3