Below the surface- YeonKai

Chapter 6- Your issue is?

KAI POV

“I- I don't smoke, no thanks” I politely declined.

My head spun as I stood there.

Memories

Unpleasant ones

Those memories that make you feel self disgust. The ones they destroy you to look back on. They all flooded back as if they had never left.

“Are you sure?” Yeonjun asked, raising a brow towards me, a captivating smirk on his face.

I stood in silence, failing to process the situation around me. The word I needed was simple.

‘No’

But for some reason I couldn't say anything as if I had become captivated by his eyes, manipulated by his stare and changed by his ways.

I don't want to take anything from him.

And yet…I did

Perhaps I haven't changed at all

“Just one” I gave in, my hand subconsciously reaching out.

So quickly I watched myself fall for whatever he was playing at. I mean, it's not like he had manipulated me, I had chosen my answer myself.

He placed one in my hand, lighting it promptly before his own. The smoke puffed from his mouth as I sat beside him unmoving.

“You there?” Yeonjun asked, his eyes slightly squinted.

“Oh, yeah” I laughed lightly as I lifted the cigarette to my lips, taking a small puff.

I coughed a little, my head feeling uneasy and empty.

“First time?” Yeonjun laughed.

Why was he laughing at me?

Did I do something wrong?

Do I look stupid to him?

I did what he wanted me to

“We all start by saying just one,” Yeonjun suddenly remarked, breaking me away from my train of thought.

What he didn't know was that it wasn't really the start for me

“I don't even know why I agreed, I’m meant to be asking you questions, not being laughed at” I mumbled.

“I'm only laughing because you're cute,” Yeonjun remarked with a shrug.

“You know, for someone who barely knows me you seem to like me quite a lot” I remarked snarkily, grimacing on the inside. Now he was making me uncomfortable.

“I’m not trying to discomfort you, it's been a long time since I’ve seen someone sane, none of the others are right in the head” Yeonjun reasoned quickly.

“Are you even sane?” I asked suddenly. I hadn't even thought about what I was going to say before I had said it.

Yeonjun looked at me for a second, smoke trailing from his mouth without effort. He looked puzzled, or maybe offended. I just couldn't tell. He seemed to sit silently, thinking about what to say for the first time since I had met him. Usually he was a quick thinker.

“No one is ever truly sane, not even you” he finally answered, turning his head away, his tone somewhat hurt.

“I didn't mean to- god I don't know anymore” I apologised. Even though I didn't know how he felt I felt so bad for such a small statement. Yeonjun had an effect. The guilt effect.