POV Deku
It's been a month since kacchan and I confessed to each other . Now we're dating . But it doesn't even feel like we're dating ... Kacchan won't talk to me that much only one or two times a day he'd come talk to me . He's always either busy with his friends or training or studying . Of course I don't want him to sacrifice his training or studying for me but he's not even talking to me when he's totally free . He'd only scroll on his phone . I feel ignored by him all over again . He was scared to be touched so I decided I won't touch him without his permission again . But now I can barely talk to him . I'm happy things worked out between us and now you're boyfriends Even our classmates know that we're dating now but kacchan just don't give me time . I wanna talk to him more
.... I wanna be close to him ...
POV Bakugou
Even though I forgave Deku and now dating him but I keep my distance from him on purpose.... I love him but ..I still have those terrible memories of him ...and it still hurts to think about the past ... I need time to adjust to this new situation ...I don't like ignoring him like this though .... Damn it this is so messed up
I need a break I need to talk to him about it ...
• at dorms after school •
Author's POV
Deku walks to katsuki's room and knocks the door " kacchan ? Can I come in ?"
Bakugou opens the door and nods . Deku gets in and shuts the door behind him . He then hugs Bakugou gently " I missed you all day kacchan"
" Deku .... I love you...but I don't think I'm ready for it yet "
" Huh ? Ready for what ? "
" Ready for a relationship ..."
" wha- what do you mean by that kacchan...?" Deku says being worried that katsuki will cut him off again .
" Don't get me wrong ...I meant every word I said that day and I love you..but ..I need to be alone ..."
" But kacchan you said you had forgive me..." Deku tears up " you said you were ok being on a relationship with me "
" But now I feel like I don't want a relationship...I wanna end this Deku .."
" What ? Are you for real kacchan ?" Deku breaks the hug" why do you suddenly wanna break up ? Did I do something wrong ? We can talk about this kacchan "
" No you didn't do anything ye-"
" then why do you wanna breakup !!?" Deku says raging up as Bakugou flinches and looks down
" I can't keep doing this ok ? " Bakugou says looking down
" You can't just ditch me after all we've been through kacchan ! At least tell me what went wrong that you're having second thoughts on us " Deku says in a calm voice as he holds Bakugou's shoulders gently .
" I just don't wanna ... " Katsuki says
" Kacchan you're not making any sense ! Just tell me why you wanna break up !" Izuku tightens his grip on katsuki's shoulders he unconsciously actives quirk while gripping on katsuki.
Katsuki flinches and looks up " this is why I don't wanna be with you Deku ! I can't tell when you start getting violent ! Yes I've forgiven you but I can forget what you did to me ! Yes I love you but my nightmares about you hurting me won't go away !" Katsuki powers up and gets off Deku's grip " that's why ! I don't wanna be around you ! "
Izuku's tears escape his eyes " but ... kacchan..I don't wanna lose you .."
" just give me some time to think about it ok ? I need to figure out whether I wanna be with you or not "
" No I can't do that ! Kacchan I just got you ! I can't let you go again " Bakugou flinches
" You don't have a choice ! I'm outta here !" Katsuki was about to walk outta the room but Deku grab his hand
" You're not going anywhere kacchan . " He pins Bakugou to the wall .
POV Bakugou
The moment Deku pinned me to the wall all the memories start to flash in my eyes . How he manhandled me ...r*ped me .. hurt me till I couldn't take it anymore... " Stop ...Deku .." My throat all of a sudden gets dry . I can feel my tears fall down my cheeks
" Kacchan !" " Kacchan I'm sorry ! Please don't cry ! " I hear Deku he's not hurting me .. he's only holding my face
" Deku ... Please don't.. it hurts .." all those memories keep playing in my mind again and again . Suddenly I feel him hugging me tightly . His body is so worm . He's not hurting me ... It feels ..so nice.. I lean into the hug
" Kacchan I'm so sorry... I'm sorry for hurting you... I really am... I wish I could go back and stop myself from doing all that...but I can't... " Deku says sobbing into my shoulder while hugging me " you wanna leave me right...? Fine... I said I won't hurt you but if being around you is the problem then I'll stop doing that too kacchan ... " He breaks the hug and looks down
" I understand you don't want me around anymore after whatever I did ... I don't blame you... Good bye kacchan.." he was about to walk away but I hold his hand. He looks at me with a surprised look on his face . " Kacchan?"
* Wait Deku... don't go ..." I say looks down at his hand while holding it .
How can I be so stupid . I said I'd give us a chance but I'm here breaking up with Deku ? What was I thinking ... I'd have just lost him again .
" Deku ... I'm .. trying my best to deal with it ... But I .. it just hurts ! Why did you do that to ? Why ..?" I fall in my knees crying as more of those memories keep coming back. " It's not easy just to move on from that ... But I wanna be with you ! But .. you " I keep sobbing as he gently hugs me again but I break the hug . " Did I really deserve it Deku ?! Did I ? "
" I ... I was bl*eding all over ! You showed no mercy ! Do you even love me Deku ?! Or are you just guilty ?! No that weird quirk accident proved that you love me but if whatever that villain said was true why were you so cruel ?! Why did you kept hurting me knowing it was k*lling me ?! Why !?" I feel all my emotions bursting out . I'm not holding back my tears anymore .. I'm not holding back my pain .. I'm not even looking at Deku .
" I couldn't sleep for nights ! I couldn't even eat properly ! I was having a headache 24/7 my back was a mess and you were just laughing at me ! Was that your love Deku ...? I bullied you almost ruined your career but you R*PED ME DEKU ! why ...? Why did I had to go though that for loving you ... I know it's not my life it's yours to control... But I didn't even know about Almight giving you his powers ... " " You know I feel so ..so empty... Almost numb just by thinking about all that ..but I can't move on ... It just hurts ... Even my body is completely healed but it hurts ... I love you but I'm scared..." I lay on the floor slowly and close my eyes as Deku is still holding my hand . He has tears in his eyes .
TBC
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hate you but love you ( Dekubaku )
FanfictionIn this au Bakugou didn't let Deku take the entrance exam . He beat Deku up an hour before the exam . But Deku had applied to the support course so he got into UA . But showed everyone his quirk at spots festival so the hero course took him . Now he...
