Bad advice #17:
If you stub your foot on a door or chair, turn around to said object and proceed with the following steps:
Step 1: Hold back the cursing. That's not a good example for children.
Step 2: Kick the door or chair back. They should know how it feels, because they are sentient beings who wanted to stub your toe. It doesn't matter that it was actually you who kicked them!
Step 3: Lean close to the object and whisper: "You stupid, worthless piece of junk! I oughta burn you with fire!"
Step 4: Run away because it's a bad idea to anger the furniture in your house. They might attack.
Step 5: Feel bad and quietly apologize. Pat the door or chair, and say, "It's okay. I still appreciate what you do."
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The Big Book of Bad Advice
RandomWhat the title says! Sometimes political, always sarcastic, mostly stupid. Read at your own risk! The author bears no responsibility for the following: Irrational decisions, injuries (fatal or otherwise), any lost or stolen items, existential crises...
