ETERNAL | namjoon ✔️

𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎.

----- ★ -----

𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎.

⤜ ✮ ⤞

At five minutes to midnight, Jungkook watched his hyung on the balcony of his bedroom from the patio below him. Namjoon was leaning over it, looking out into the night, unaware of his audience.

Namjoon had been Jungkook's best friend now for nearly ten years. Best friend didn't really cover it - he was his mentor, his big brother, his teacher and his companion all rolled into one.

That's why it hurt Jungkook more than most to see Namjoon so conflicted.

He wished his hyung could see the inevitable. Everyone in the house felt the heavy pull of attraction between him and their visitor, felt it in the bond that tied them all together, like a rope pulling them in towards each other. They knew it was just a matter of time before they gave in to one another. Jungkook just wanted Namjoon to get it over with, because he couldn't bear her sorrowful purple eyes any longer.

As he watched on, he smelled the cigarette smoke before he heard the voice that made his stomach churn.

"Kookie."

Jungkook turned to the small secluded smoking booth at the side of the patio. Sitting there, separated from everyone, was Taehyung, the smoke from his cigarette wafting across his face as he gazed at Jungkook steadily.

He took a breath. "Tae," he replied.

For a moment they stood in heavy silence, before Taehyung tutted.

"Let's not do that," he said, reaching across for Jungkook's wrist. "Don't close off from me."

Before Jungkook could protest he was pulled down into the booth next to him. A rage boiled over inside him at Taehyung's words.

"Close off?" he asked incredulously. "You're asking me not to close off? Are you serious?"

Taehyung sighed, looking down at his lap. He was still clutching Jungkook's wrist. "I'm sorry, Kookie. I'm sorry, I just couldn't... I couldn't process it. It was such a shock."

"Yeah, well," Jungkook mumbled, pulling his wrist from his grip. "Still. We've been friends for... we don't just ignore each other, hyung."

Taehyung nodded. "M'sorry."

It was quiet again for a moment.

Jungkook had to ask him. He had to know the answer to the question that had been dancing around his mind all week, resulting in many a sleepless night. And if he didn't ask it now, he never would.

"Do you regret it?"

Taehyung looked up at him, caramel eyes ablaze. "Kookie..."

"Tell me," Jungkook cut him off, a little louder this time, feeling bolder. "Tell me, Tae. Do you regret it?"

The flash in Taehyung's eyes was hard to miss, and Jungkook knew he was reliving it, just as he was.

The darkness in Taehyung's eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"I think you felt something that night," Jungkook said quietly, lip trembling. This was entirely unfamiliar ground for the two of them. "I think it felt good. So good."

"Stop," Taehyung urged him, reaching for his hand again. This time Jungkook didn't shake it off.

"What? Am I wrong?" Jungkook retorted. He was almost angry in his urgency now. "It wasn't just me, right, Tae? I'm not the only one who felt it."

Taehyung's mouth opened, and closed again, and Jungkook could see that he was right.

But he could also see, with a pang in his heart, that no matter how good it felt, how right it had seemed to hold Taehyung for that fleeting moment, his friend was not going to let it happen again.

"Kookie..." Taehyung began, his face distraught. "Kookie, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are the closest friend I've ever had in my life. People like you don't just walk into my life every day. So I'm not... I'm not gonna risk that for anything. No matter how..."

He trailed off, but Jungkook finished it for him.

"No matter how good it felt."

Taehyung nodded, his eyes dropping to his lap once more. "If we patch it up now, it's not too late, Kookie. It's not too late for us to go back to how we were."

Jungkook hated that. Hated that Taehyung was putting aside something risky, dangerous, exciting, for the sake of their friendship.

He hated, most of all, that it was the right thing to do.

A movement in the periphery caught his eye, and he turned his head just a fraction to catch Celine stepping out onto the balcony behind Namjoon.

She looked magnificent tonight, he thought, through his conflict. He watched as Namjoon beamed at her, and she beamed back.

Perhaps their connection is a little complicated too, Jungkook mused, as he and Taehyung sat in silence, huddled together in the secluded smoking booth. But maybe they will be brave enough to take the risk.

As the other boys began to count down from ten to ring in the new year, Taehyung looked up from their joined hands, and cupped Jungkook's face with his warm free palm. "You're my best friend, Kookie."

Jungkook's heart ached, and he closed his eyes. "I know. You're mine too."

When Taehyung pressed his lips against his this time, Jungkook didn't feel the fireworks that erupted last week. He didn't feel the low wanting in his stomach, the need to have him, all of him, at once.

Instead, he felt sorrow. Because he knew that the way his friend was kissing him right now meant something.

It meant finality. It meant it wasn't happening again.

It meant goodbye.

And so Jungkook hung on to it for as long as he could, relishing the sharp tang of nicotine on Taehyung's tongue, the curl of his fingers in his hair, and the scent of him - something so distinctly Tae, before the pair pulled away, in case it really was the last time.

When he drew back, Taehyung's eyes were shining. "Happy new year, Kookie."

Jungkook swallowed the emotion in his throat and smiled. "Happy new year, Tae."

----- ★ -----

waaaaaah i don't even ship vkook and writing this made me feel some typa way lol

new update coming soon 💜