Appeal Denied

2015-NYC-14: Stay Proceedings

The ice cream was at the back of the freezer, and I had to hunt for it which allowed time for the cold air to cool my heated cheeks. Why had I asked for more than we had? Stupid, stupid Vanessa. I felt him approach behind me, spying him from the corner of my eye as he leaned against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankle.

"I'm sorry," my words were spoken into the freezer as I moved frozen dinners to the side to get at the ice cream, "I shouldn't have asked. We have a contract, and I'm not looking for a relationship right now. My career is what's important. I apologize, Harry."

His silence stretched on, and even after I located the ice cream, I didn't want to turn around and face him, my mortification growing by the minute.

Moving to the side, my back still to him, I placed the ice cream on the counter and took down two bowls. Scrounging through the drawer produced a scoop, and I began to dish up the ice cream as I continued, "The perfect movie scene we were living got into my head. It won't happen again. I swear." I was babbling so I clamped my mouth shut, putting away the ice cream. Swiveling, I held his serving out to him as a peace offering.

With a nod, he took the bowl, tilting his head to examine me.

"I feel comfortable with you, Vanessa, and that's special. But there are reasons I can't publicly date anyone."

"Of course there are, Harry. I've said I'm sorry. Can we move on? I'm dying of embarrassment here," I moved back to the sofa with my icy treat, curling into myself as I focused my attention on the screen, trying not to let tears form. At that point, crying would have been about my shame rather than his rejection, but he would have misinterpreted the emotion. The moment was awkward enough without adding another layer. Perhaps I was hormonal.

After a short pause, he stood upright and walked to the sofa to join me. "First there's the fans. They aren't kind to women I've been linked with, and you don't deserve the negative attention that would come with dating me."

Now I was completely chagrined, feeling like I'd kicked a puppy. His number one reason not to date me was about protecting me. "Harry," I whispered, "It's okay. You don't owe me an explanation."

Blowing out a deep breath, he continued speaking, "Secondly is my career. I'm planning to go solo as you know, and that needs to have my full focus. You're already distracting enough as my....uh....partner. Being seen with you publicly would bring a whole new level of mania."

"Really, Harry. You don't have to...."

His cold stare stopped my words, "Yes, I do. You deserve it."

"No. I don't. We have an agreement, and...."

"Stop, Vanessa. Let me finish. Please."

It was the "please" that shut me up, and I shoveled ice cream in my mouth to keep from interrupting again.

His eyes seared me as he put his ice cream on the table and faced me fully. "And finally, I'm not ready to settle down. I'm still young. I've got a lot of life to live. I don't expect I'll want to be in a place to think about going public with someone until I'm at least 30."

I blew out the breath I'd been holding, preparing to speak, but he wasn't finished. He held up his hand to stay my words. Eyes growing tender, he smiled sweetly at me. "I really like you, Vanessa. A lot. And clearly we've got more between us than just sex. Although the sex is bloody brilliant!" We both grinned at that because there was zero doubt in that arena.

"And if I were in a place to think seriously about dating someone....." he paused, his eyes focused behind me before flicking back to make contact with mine, "You would be at the top of the list."