Because of My Past (Jikook AU)

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⤃ C H A P T E R   17

Jungkook sat in his studio, for the past few weeks he hadn't been able to paint anything that he felt good about but today he decided to tackle an incomplete drawing that had been at the back of his mind for a while.

Digging out the slightly dusty canvas, Jungkook looked at the first painting he started when he first moved into his house. The disregarded incomplete portrait.

Then he began to work. Getting lost in thought and basking in the feeling of what it was like to draw again after a while.

And for the first time since he was a child, Jungkook drew a portrait.

He drew Jimin.

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Jungkook finished the drawing sometime around midnight but he called Jimin anyway.

Jimin rushed over thinking something was wrong "Hey are you okay"

"Yeah I'm good" jungkook said as he kissed Jimin
"I just wanted to talk"

"You were working huh? you're all covered in paint" Jimin chuckled as the both walked into jungkook living room

Looking down at his clothes Jungkook laughed "oh yeah, i should probably go take a shower. I won't be long"

Jungkook left, leaving Jimin anxiously waiting on his couch. What could Jungkook possibly want to talk to him about? Jimin thought.

Well it couldn't be bad since he seemed pretty giddy

...

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Jungkook took a deep breath and began "My mother died after I was born and ever since I could remember I was blamed for her death. I was made to believe that her life was more valuable than mine-"

"that's not true" Jimin interrupted

"Jus- let me finish" Jungkook said as he forced what he thought was an abnormally large lump down his throat

"My father would never let me forget it. My mother's death broke him. He would get drunk, come home, then take his anger out on me. I guess that was his grieving mechanism, making me feel worthless."

" Anything i found joy in he destroyed, i didn't deserve to be happy in his eyes because i took away the one person that made him happy"

Jimin started to cry but Jungkook continued,
"I kept thinking 'one day he'll come around' or 'he will forgive me eventually' but as I got older I knew that it was becoming a cycle and if I stayed it  would never stop. I couldn't take it anymore  so one day I ran and uh tae and his family found me passed out on the side of the road."

"That day I didn't care if that was it for me or not because at least I had gotten away, at least I was free. They took me to a hospital and his parents took me in. even though i didn't know TAe, i knew that anything was better than the hell that i was supposed to call my home"

Jimin embraced Jungkook in a hug. He couldn't understand how something so tragic and terrifying could happen to someone that perfect and caring.

They remained in each other's embrace for a while before Jungkook broke the silence.

"But I don't want you to think I'm weak because of that. I'm different now i've grown" Jungkook cried

Breaking the hug to look jungkook in the eye Jimin sniffled "Are you crazy? Weak? If the definition of weak is someone going through the shittiest thing a person can go through and still being able to be so kindhearted and gentle, then i'd say yeah you're weak"

They shared a kiss before Jungkook finally asked the million dollar question.
"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Jimin wiped off his tears and chucked "what kind of question is that? Of course"