Tea Parties in Boston

65 - The Quiz

December 28th, 2022, Cambridge, MA

Rory was at work, the week between Christmas and New Years being especially quiet around the office. But yet, one of them was supposed to be found around the office anyways on all work days just in case one of the older faculty members needed them. Sometimes they did - their requests varying from making them a fresh pot of coffee or computer advice to something utterly impossible. This week, however, thankfully - there had been none of those things.

Honestly, Rory was just bored - browsing casually her social media feeds and cleaning out her inbox since the University had taken a pledge to reduce digital trash. She could think back fondly at Christmas. Tolerable time spent with her mother, a small dose of her grandmother, but most of all Logan and Em, the three of them sleeping all in one bed being the cutest thing she could imagine. And the long weekend hadn't been without their private romantic moments either. While she didn't have a ring on her finger, they'd promised to marry one day. She had been able to feel the love resonate so powerfully, like she was being charged by some powerful force, leaving her calm and secure.

For a moment it seemed the Facebook algorithm could read her mind as she scrolled past an ad recommending her to take a quiz on whether she should quit her job, twice in one day.

Having nothing better to do, she clicked on it. She expected it to be some stupid scam, something that wouldn't actually give her anything concrete unless she paid for them, but she did it anyway to occupy her mind.

"First question - does you workplace have toxic work environment?" Rory read out to herself, barely audibly.

The answer was required from scale one to five, one being 'Not at all'. She heard about the toxicity of this place all the time, especially from the academic faculty, she wasn't subjected to it as much, but knowing it still existed wasn't the most pleasant thing so her answer steered towards a 4 at the very least. On second thought - did having Tucker around count? The thought almost made her want to switch to 5, but she held off, deciding to factor that in on some other question.

"Next question - is your job affecting your physical or mental health?" she read out the next one.

Physically she was fine, it wasn't heavy lifting or incredibly late hours. People had it way worse. Same for mental health. But she couldn't deny that doing things she felt were not occupying her potential was hurting her pride. It made her feel small, undervalued and not trusted. She was experiencing low self esteem as a result - imposter syndrome. So while not a 'five' most certainly a 'three'.

"Have you looked at other job applications in the past year?" Rory read out quietly.

It was a definite 'yes'. She had daily LinkedIn alerts and she always looked through the university job section too.

"How long could you be without work and live off your savings?" the next question read.

It took Rory a minute, trying to recall how much she had. But once she realized that the longest answer said 'more than a year' she realized that calculating it into an exact number of years made no difference. She knew she was lucky.

"How old are you?" the next question said, making Rory just want to click the browser shut. But as she continued to read the little text with explanation below, she realized that it did make a very good point - older women especially got a lot fewer callbacks for various jobs. Rory didn't yet feel that old, maybe too old for babies, but not old enough to apply for jobs. "Maybe it is now or never?" she reflected in an exhale.

"Could you see yourself going back to school?" the next question read.

Rory wasn't really eager to do that, especially going down the Ivy league rabbit whole. She wasn't after an academic career, like she'd once been when considering a PhD. But she wasn't ruling out taking classes or learning something - she had always loved that part of it. Wouldn't that be a great example for Em too?