-mercy 8.01-

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"How do you do it?" I questioned, gazing up at my once again boyfriend.

He turned his head down to me, "what do you mean?"

I rolled onto my side, my hand supporting my head as the sun came through the window, "forgive me. Even after everything I've done."

He mirrored my position, so we were staring at each other stupidly, "I have my reasons." He grinned sleepily.

"I don't deserve you." I said with a grin of my own, just much sadder since I really didn't deserve any of this.

"Don't say that. You're amazing." He leaned into my neck, kissing it.

I waited a moment, enjoying it before pushing him off, "you're so cheesy. We should get dressed before your dad tries to wake us up and sees this, not that I'm not enjoying you finally returning the favor."

"Oh, shut up." He said laying back down onto his back sighing, "we should probably get ready though." Carl groaned at his own words, not wanting to get up either.

"You think we would be together if the world hadn't ended?" I asked curiously, studying his side profile. He was the most gorgeous I've ever seen.

"Yeah, I do." I watched his eyes flutter closed again, despite being the one who said we should get ready.

"Maybe then I wouldn't have fucked so much up." I mumbled.

"Okay," Carl said, sitting up immediately, aggressively shaking my shoulder, "stop being so sad, we are here now, aren't we?" His movements slowed to a stop, hand lingering on my naked shoulder.

"Barely," I said with seriousness, even though he was in such a cheery mood, "you got shot twice, lost an eye from that, almost got your arm cutoff and skull caved in by Negan..." I bit my bottom lip before continuing, "I'm cursed."

Carl had tried to be serious but lost it when I said I was cursed, "you aren't cursed. I just am really good at cheating death."

"I swear to you I am, everyone I've gotten close to has died or gotten, like, life changingly hurt." I whined.

"Whatever you say. I already lost my eye from your 'curse', so I don't need to worry and neither do you. We should actually get ready now."

-------

Today was a long day of planning for the attack and then doing so. I didn't really know what was happening though, Rick was still hesitant to tell me stuff which was valid although I never did tell Negan anything.

All I knew is that when this was over the saviors would be gone, which I was more than okay with. I was another type of messed up when I sided with them for that week, one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

"Why'd you stop?" I asked when the brakes squealed, opening my eyes.

"Need's more gas. You can wait here though." Carl said going for the door and turning off the engine.

"I'll come. I need to stop being so lazy anyway." I opened my door, climbing out.

"You aren't being lazy; you just don't have a job during this and you can't exactly have one either." Carl said, slamming our doors shut at almost the same time, having to slam it because otherwise it doesn't close. We both walked around the trunk of the vehicle, "It's not that we don't trust you-"

"I get it, don't worry. I'm actually glad I'm not being let in on this, I deserve some sort of punishment for what I did." I said as he opened the back, grabbing the red container out and then re-closing the trunk.

"I should've told you about Enid kissing me. I wasn't lying when I said why I didn't tell you, doesn't make it right but I wasn't trying to hide it because I liked it." Carl explained as we walked down a grassy hill, "what happened after you left?"

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