After Years

Kabanata XI

"Jenna!"

It wasn't Yves. It was Zeus who called me and followed me here.

"Are you okay?"

Dahil sa tanong niya, tuluyan nang tumulo ang luha ko, but I wiped it immediately before I turned my way to face him. "Of course I am. I just feel tired. Can I take some rest for a moment?"

"S-sure. Of course. Magpahinga ka muna sa guest room."

Sinamahan niya ako papunta sa isang maganda at malinis na kwarto. Agad naman akong umupo sa kama para pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

"Yes, I am. Hindi lang ako sanay na makipaghalubilo sa mga tao, kaya naubos kaagad ang social battery ko."

"A-alright. You can sleep here. I'll just bring you some water. I'll be back."

Tumango ako nang magpaalam na siya sa akin. He closed the door, and that's when I found myself a space to cry. Gusto kong tanggalin lahat ng sama ng loob sa dibdib ko. If I don't really love Yves, I won't feel this way. Why doesn't everything go as planned? Gusto ko siyang kalimutan, pero sa tuwing kalilimutan ko na siya, may mangyayari na magiging dahilan ng pagbalik ko, pero kapag bumalik naman ako, may mangyayari na magiging dahilan ng ikawawarak ko. Nahihirapan na ako sa totoo lang. Naguguluhan. Hindi ko na alam saan ako lulugar.

Kahit piliin kong gustuhin na kaibiganin na lang siya, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong umibig lalo. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. Gusto ko na lang maglaho, kasama nitong nararamdaman ko sa kaniya na imposible niyang masuklian.

I was in the middle of crying my heart out when a knock on the door interrupted me. I fixed myself and my makeup before opening the door.

Napaatras ako nang makita ko si Yves. I was expecting that Zeus would be back to serve me water, but he's not coming back yet after a few minutes.

"What are you doing here?" matigas kong tanong.

"Are you expecting someone else?" Kita ko sa mga mata niya ang inis. Heto na naman siya, nakakunot ang noo. Palagi na lang.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago inulit ang tanong ko. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be the one asking that. Why are you here in a room expecting someone else to appear? Are you guys planning to do something? Is he preparing condoms?"

Hindi ko napigilan ang kamay kong sampalin siya. "Grabe ka naman!" I burst out in tears. "Anong tingin mo sa 'kin? Ganoon ba ako kababang klase ng babae?"

"Then, if not, what are you doing here?!" he shouted very loudly, which I never expected he would do to me in my entire life. What the hell is happening with him?

Pumasok siya sa loob at ni-lock ang pinto dahilan para lalong umapaw sa dibdib ko ang kaba. "Yves! Get out of this room!"

"Why? So you can be with him? No!"

Nagulat ako nang itulak niya ako sa kama dahilan para mapahiga ako. "What the hell are you doing? You're scaring me!"

Mas ikinabigla ko ang pagpatong niya sa ibabaw ko. "That's right. Be scared. You never listen to me anyway. You pushed my limits."

Bumigat ang paghinga ko lalo na nang titigan niya ako nang malalim. Kita ko sa malapitan ang mukha niyang tila ba nag-iba. Maging ang paraan niya ng pagtingin sa akin ay nakakatakot. He was always gentle with me. What did I do to be blamed for this? Minahal ko lang naman siya. Bakit parang ako pa 'yong nasisisi at naparurusahan?

"Jenna, you are mine and mine only," he stated with authority before claiming my lips. It was aggressive. It is painful. I can feel that my lips are now dripping blood because of his hard bites.