Deepest Desire

13- Worried

"Everything is a lie in his world."

Mrs Stellios guided me on how to deal with him, what to do and mostly how to avoid him but the apprehension of living under the same roof of someone sinister as him was unfathomable.

How can I spend each second in fear of what he will do? How can I breathe freely in his atrocious presence? How can I survive?

"I am scared. He won't let anything slide if I make a mistake. Can't this foot be enough to know he won't hesitate to hurt me?" I whispered, running my hand in my hair, pulling them with stress.

"I don't want him to give you scars you don't deserve. You have to forge a facade, Eileen, Please. " She whispered, rubbing my back.

"That is what I am impotent to do and he loves it. He loves how easily I display fright." I whispered, heartbroken when his words echoed in my mind.

My emotions cracked immensely to think about him, his mien and it did nothing but to shatter my hopes beyond repair. He stumbles on my course of life merely by his power.

"Then keep it hidden, don't look into his eyes, don't think about him. I have told you already, forget your identity." She whispered, trying to console me but to no avail.

Her words of assurance were only breaking my heart, they were cutting my scar because at one point of my life, he became my world.

"I can't do it. I am who I am. He cannot break me so easily. Why would I change myself?." I enunciated, willing to put everything at stake to grasp my reflection.

"I am who I am, Mrs Stellios, I won't let him crush my soul. Though my emotions will differ but then again, at one point- I dedicated my soul to him too... At one point in my life... I gave him my heart..." I breathed out, curling my freezing hands in a fist.

She was taken aback at my resolve to treasure my innocence but I could foresee my hope crashing soon enough.

"Are you sure you can do this?" She asked vaguely, worried about me immensely.

"I will and I must. He cannot crush my identity." I nodded, putting up a straight face but the glum etched on it was clear. I couldn't, I didn't want to but what can I do when all my doors are closed.

She stared at my face for a few seconds before patting my head to give her blessing, "May God ease all your paths, Dear." She whispered, giving the prayer I deeply needed.

"Thank you." I whispered, looking down, pulling my lip with my finger, lost in pondering.

A brief silence came between us. She wanted me to fight and I wanted to shelter my purity. We both held distinguished intentions. Unsure of what to speak anymore.

But, before this silence could convert into an uncomfortable one, a knock appeared on the door, gaining our attention.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Jen, Madam. There is a call for you from Mr Lior." Jen, our head maid, informed me. She looked at me in bewilderment but I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Yes, I don't have a phone. He took it away for now. They only call on landlines and I can't speak to them in private. It should be put on the speaker." I sighed, explaining the restriction I have, unable to talk to anyone calmly.

"That's ridiculous. You are the Madam of this place, they can't overpower you." She frowned, getting up. Displeased at his actions.

"Nor can I overpower him." I chuckled dryly, getting up as well as we both went to the main hall where I got to listen to the call but she stopped me.

"Talk calmly. It's alright and if he says anything, says my name." She said sternly. I was skeptical about it but she practically told me to blame them.

Besides, I needed to talk to my parents alone badly, I wanted to be free from the breaths they were capturing.

"Okay." Nodding hesitantly, I picked the call.

"Hello?" I answered and heard a curse.

"What the fuck, woman!? If I was out of the country for a moment, would you not bother to update me once!?" I heard Sofia yelling at me over the phone.

Narrowing my eyes, I put it away slightly from my ear, sighing deeply at her panic.

"I lost my phone, Sofia, I couldn't contact anyone for now." I explained to her calmly, hoping she wouldn't create a scene like she usually does.

"I know, I know but you have a damn landline, your husband's phone too. You can call once but no, you have always been absent-minded." She scolded and it was not even my fault this time.

I couldn't even tell her what I am going through. What I had witnessed, anything at all.

"Why don't you come over? We can talk then." I said, looking at Mrs Stellios who smiled. I was unsure how Sebastian would react but I placed my faith in her assuring smile.

"That is what I am going to do without you telling me anyways. I am coming over." She said worriedly and cut the call without saying goodbye like always.

She doesn't like saying goodbye and always cuts the call out of the blue. Sighing, I sat on the couch, leaning back.

"Are you parents coming over?" She asked, smiling.

"No, my friend, Sofia. We have been together since childhood. She was out of the country at the moment and now when she came to know... she was worried." She said with a dry chuckle, resting my head on the headframe to stare at the ceiling devoid of emotions.

"He made Rick a villain, used my injury to strengthen his justification. Not only is his mind twisted, but he is highly intelligent too." I mumbled, covering my face with my hands, closing my eyes.

Sebastian is a perfect enemy. Of course, he is not Black Death for no reason. From his nature to his mind, all of them are cunningly nefarious.

"That is the reason why we cannot put him down and give the authority to Ruben. He holds powers perfectly, no one can go against him." She said sadly, not lifting her head.

"Why isn't Ruben here then? Why isn't he helping you guys?" I asked, straightening my back but her frown deepened.

"Him and Sebastian are not close. Like most people, Ruben doesn't want to work under Sebastian. He is in Dubai, with Zaviyaar. Another... leader."

My heart skipped a beat when I heard another heavy name. Zaviyaar Sheikh. I never thought I would hear these names, let alone to be involved with them.

But look at me now, surrounded by people whose souls are stained with blood and corruption.

"Is that why Sebastian is not the biggest criminal but Plague Doctor?" I never thought I would ask this question but life took me to a point where I had to ask.

"Yes. When his own brother doesn't want to work with him then how can someone else will? We are limited but Nathaniel has everything under his feet." She explained though I was not interested, only curious.

Because as far as I can predict, Sebastian is the most dangerous yet not on top of the list of fatality was strange but now I know why.

"I have asked Ruben to come back... to help you." She said, holding my hand.

"You did?" I asked, a hint of hope coming to my face but it vanished instantly when I remember Sebastian telling me they will try to help but it would be in pain.

"Yes. Let's just hope he returns soon." She smiled, turning her head away sorrowfully. Glancing at her from the corner of my eye, I didn't know what to feel for her.

A mother whose children were torn apart, one is far away with no intentions of coming back, other is a psychopath, ravaging lives.

"Hmm." Humming, I remained like this, waiting for Sofia to come and help me gain some moments of tranquility in this horrendous palace.

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