Deepest Desire

61- Prayer

"It was hard for me to do it, more than your imagination. But, when I scarred his beautiful body with my own hands, he told me something that night which I could never forget..."

We were staring at each other, trying to words behind the silence we both were impotent to break, dying to release the words on the edge of our tongue but couldn't.

It was a harsh time.

It felt like the chains we created by our inner thoughts had imprisoned us, he couldn't hold my hand and I was afraid if I held my hand out, he might not take it.

I was afraid to embrace him.

Narrowing my eyes, I let go of his hand slowly, lowering my gaze, hugging my sides.

If he couldn't look into my eyes, then I shouldn't as well. My glances would only provoke him, hurt him to realize he cannot look back and I didn't want to hurt him further than I was already going to do.

We remained like this for a few seconds and thankful before the air could convert into awkwardness, Asad and Ruben came after growing impatient, coming to us.

"Are you guys done? If you have changed your mood then let us know." Ruben sighed. I noticed, all this time, Asad didn't speak much, normally he taunts a lot but he was dead serious this time.

"No, we're coming. Let's go, Eileen." Sebastian cleared his throat, holding his hand out to me. I took his hand, my heart skipped a beat when his large hands held mine, an unwanted shiver went down my spine but I upheld my posture.

"Are you sure you can do it?" Asad asked vaguely, noticing the sternness on my face. We all were aware of the fact that I was a terrible actor yet I held a strong face, I kept myself together.

"I will." I nodded firmly, giving his hand a tight squeeze, noticing Sebastian let out an empty but sincere smile.

"Let's go." Sebastian called, it was ordered to be kept as a secret, no one should know what was going to happen or how he gained those scars.

They shall become a mystery.

We reached a seemingly normal warehouse but there was a hidden basement there which led to a hideous dungeon where dried blood had coated the walls, dust had taken shelter there, filled with different weapons, frightening me.

"What... is this place?" I asked, holding Sebastian's arm, trembling in fright when I saw this place. That was why I didn't want to know anything about his work.

There were some things which if left unanswered- the better.

"It's one of your husband's torture cells. You might not want to know how many souls were imprisoned here." Ruben replied, waving his hand in the air to clear the dust, checking it out.

"I don't want to know either." I muttered, tightening my grip on Sebastian, not lifting my head.

"Are you okay? Are you scared?" Sebastian asked softly, holding my chin. He was worried about the perception I might hold of him.

"I am fine, I am not scared." I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek which caused Sebastian to chuckle a little and lean down to my ears.

"You are terrible at lying, you know?" He smirked teasingly but I lowered my head more, holding him rigidly.

"Geez, when was the last time you used it?" Ruben asked as I noticed, none of them affected by the gloom atmosphere, they had zero effect.

"There. Here you go. The rest things are beyond your caliber. You can't use anything but this here." Asad called coldly, handing me a stockwhip and I paused.