Deepest Desire

60- Destination

“I wanted to become his exception, more important than all worldly desires and I didn’t understand how but I gained that position."

“

Are we seriously going to do that?” Ruben asked, scanning Sebastian from top to bottom who held a nonchalant expression on his face.

“Do you think I was joking around, mate?” Sebastian scoffed, arching a brow at him.

"Since when 'you' started redeeming, mate?" Ruben scoffed back, rolling his eyes off, frowning.

"Why wouldn’t I?" Sebastian asked sternly, not liking his statement.

"She is just a prey after all." And Ruben hit his sensitive spot, recalling how all this time I was nothing but a prey to him.

"Watch your words, Ruben. That's my wife you are talking about." Sebastian warned him, making my heart race to hear him calling me his wife, giving me an explicit felicity.

"Oh, wife? When did that miracle happen?" Ruben chuckled, mocking him but the fact I had reached the perception of a wife was enough to melt my heart.

"I-" He opened his mouth to retort but I pulled onto his shirt, gaining his attention.

"Sebastian…" I called him tentatively, barely holding my composure.

"What is it?" He asked softly.

“I am just not… sure…” I mumbled, noticing how my hands were trembling to think how I could raise my hands to hurt him. 

“Let him redeem himself, he didn’t do it for anyone, consider yourself lucky.” Ruben chuckled dryly, looking at him for a second. 

“Sebastian-” I called him desperately, taking a step closer but he put his hand in between, stopping me.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.” He breathed out, not allowing me to talk to him or find another way to solve things. 

“Eileen, if I..” Sebastian began to say but paused, glancing at the two exasperating men who were listening carefully.

“I…” He tried to speak again but he couldn’t in their presence and stopped, sighing loudly, “Leave.” He ordered them.

“Ha, can’t spill two words before us.” Asad chuckled, tapping Ruben’s shoulder as me and Sebastian glared at him to stop. 

“Our life is not public, we need privacy. Leave, you two.” Sebastian ordered, gesturing to them to leave and gladly they left, leaving us alone. 

After they left, Sebastian took a deep breath and made me sit on the couch and bend on his knees before me, holding my both hands with a firm grip, staring intensely into my eyes. 

My heartbeats were enhanced at the sincere link pricking my chest. His eyes were pleading silently but I couldn’t grasp what so I waited patiently for him to speak and after grasping his composure, his low, depressed tone came. 

“Eileen, if I don't do it, I will be your culprit forever. I wouldn’t be able to look at my reflection. I won’t be able to change,"

He paused. A quiver released my lips, narrowing my eyes in pity. My mind didn’t fathom the depth of his deed would be constricting his capability to this extent. 

"I won’t be able to start things, my faults would constantly remind me of my beastly nature, of my deepest desire.”

Swallowing hard, his orbs broke the connection shamefully, giving my hands a tight grip to display his hesitation of speaking words he never could.