Deepest Desire

29- One. Last. Time.

"There it came, Asad. The origin, the point where it all began..."

In the middle of the night, in this dimly lit room, I was holding Sebastian's hand, panting heavily after we finished with sweat glistening on our body.

Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against mine, taking hurried breaths to regain his posture as our fingers were intertwined beside my head.

My body was physically not in any pain, I had my fair share of pleasure, I thought he would deny me at the edge or drive me crazy by lust. Thankfully none of it happened.

His parents gave examples like torturing, killing but all he did was to be a gentle dom during intimacy.

Why...? Why? Why?!

He scared me with the dagger, then his belt, then with words, by yelling... always... frightening. Does he like scaring me this much?

I was emotionally exhausted, if he feels nothing then hurting me shouldn't be difficult then why does he only scare and not act? He was draining me emotionally. Is that what he intended to do? Shatter me emotionally first?

It was hurting constantly and if I remained silent any longer, I would turn insane.

"Sebastian..." I called him after regaining my breath, tightening my grip on his hand.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me with those clouds I am unable to encrypt. Observing my petite form before pulling away a little.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked, groaning, pulling away and getting out.

Nodding, I lowered my gaze. I didn't move, he always washed my body himself after our sessions.

We cleaned ourselves, I was wearing his shirt reaching my thighs with my underwear. He was in his nightwear. He was changing the sheets while I was lost in my thoughts.

Is there something wrong? After being a man of stone I don't expect much from him but... is it because he doesn't want to take things towards ravish that's why he doesn't go rough but then again why wouldn't he?

Sighing, I glanced at his back and out of nowhere his image of smiling and laughing with me on our early days of marriage flashed before my eyes, rupturing my last string of patience.

Was he ever like this?

My heart ached, my breaths constructed between my throat. I felt defeated by his cruelty when I compared it to the deceptive smile, to the broken promise he made to my father.

Abruptly tears brimmed in my eyes, staring at him in disbelief. Disappointment in the man before me.

He is not the man I married...

My heart stung, I constantly expressed my grief but he only ridiculed my emotions. I told him how badly he hurt me many times but he never cared.

Yet, now too, for one last time, I wanted to see the smile I fell for...

"Done. Come." He called coldly.

Looking down, I got up and sat on the bed with my head hanging low, emitting grief.

"Sebastian..." He was right in front of me, sniffling, I looked at him but he only arched his eyebrows in bewilderment to see tears gleaming in my eyes.

"What happened?"

Pain emanating from me. My heart skipped a beat as I whispered, pouring all my emotions in my words. For the final time to tell him.

One. Last. Time.

"I love you, Sebastian..."

He blinked. To say he was confused would be understatement. He thought my tongue slipped.