Deepest Desire

37- Sick Brat

Present

~ Eileen ~

It was raining heavily. Me and Asad were in the cafe, looking out at the rain, I was staring at it. That day was happening before my eyes as I spoke.

I wouldn't admit it but whenever it rains I think about it constantly and I bet Sebastian must be doing that too.

Remembering each and every detail of the longest day of our lives.

"I still don't know which part exactly he loved. Was it the intimacy or his confession of me being special? I guess both..." I sighed, curling my lips downwards, finally parting my eyes from the rain and turning to Asad who was listening carefully.

"Seems like it's not only his favorite part, My Lady." He smiled, resting his elbow on the table, leaning closer, not parting his keen eyes from my face.

"I don't know..." I mumbled, hugging my sides, lowering my gaze sorrowfully. The beauty of that day began to fade away, replaced by an ache.

"He told me I am his exception, Asad. I believed it with all my heart- He lied." Holding myself tightly, I pressed my teeth together, voice cracking but Asad snapped his fingers before me to get my attention.

"He didn't, Eileen. He didn't. I don't want to defend him but if you weren't his exception he wouldn't agree to gain those scars." He whispered, recalling what extent Sebastian had reached just to prove that I am more than his prey.

To prove me that I matter.

But everything came with a price, "He deserved it. He deserved those scars." I scoffed, rolling my eyes off. Not wanting to think about.

"At least it made you guys equal." He shrugged, leaning back.

Exhaling deeply, I stared at my hands, confused, "I-I don't know what to do... I feel lost, Asad." I told him sincerely. Everything began to mix together and I lost my path.

"Hey, Hey, Don't think too much and mix your emotions. Continue gradually. Let's not hasten up, take your time." Asad said instantly, waving his hand to let me loosen up and follow his suggestion and not blend my previous and current emotions.

"Okay?" He whispered, flashing a sweet smile, offering me some water.

"Thank you.. For being here for me, Asad." I smiled, taking the glass. I am so grateful to Asad for being here and helping me to overcome this tribulation.

Though he brought me the most trouble. But, at least telling him was also helping me to reflect on our relationship and decide what is best for me and Sebastian.

"I will always be there for you, Eileen." He said sincerely, staring at me with those earnestly affectionate orbs which I always try to not notice.

Clearing his throat, he shook his head to not make anything awkward for me and asked, "Then what happened? What happened to him?"

"I don't know. He just stopped and began to shake. It could be so beautiful, after a long time I was actually desiring Sebastian but he just stopped in the middle." I muttered. Till today, I don't know what took over Sebastian to make him stop and pull away.

"So nothing happened?" Asad asked to which I nodded.

"Yeah. All I could remember was him shaking and seeing my Sebastian in that state.... Hurt me." I spoke dolorously, not wanting to witness that state of his again which agonized me.

"I mean, he rarely showed emotions and seeing him tremble distressed me. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help him but he didn't tell me anything." I said hurriedly, worriedly, staring at my glass of water.