• 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 •

• 28 •

valerie

"Strawberry?" I asked, pressing my lips around the small device. "And what? I can't really tell."

"It's just strawberry," Yenvy laughed, holding out her hand for it back. "I don't like strawberry banana or strawberry vanilla, you know they gotta strawberry blueberry, bruh?"

"Prolly gotta strawberry ice. A strawberry chocolate. A strawberry coconut," I laughed too.

"I like strawberries," she giggled, "Nahh, cause why am I just now startin' to feel the buzz."

"What if they had a flavor called strawberry strawberry?" I took it back from her after she took a hit.

"Might as well call it extra strawberry then," she said.

"This was nice. I rarely smoke this shit," I handed it back to her. "And even though we ain't really talkin' bout shit, this was nice, Yenvy. Changed my whole perspective on you."

"What, you thought I was uptight and a bitch? I get that a lot," she shrugged. She shook it, taking a little bit of it apart then putting it back, "Girl, I bought this yesterday, and now it's all gone."

"My bad," I giggled, blinking as I stared at it, "I ain't even knew nic could hit like that."

"It's this shop I go to, I think they sell hookah there and shit too. They got some of the strongest shit I den ever had. Back in high school, that shit was flavored water compared to this shit."

"Y'all wasn't smokin' no strawberry banana, y'all had sparklin' water," I laughed.

"Not too much. And they was chargin' hella for it too, and we all sworn we was just sooo addicted and loopy. This the real nic right here," she tapped her nail on it.

I checked the time on my phone and Yenvy gently took it out of my hand. "Nooo, I still wanna talk."

"Yenvy, I..." I didn't like the way things felt like they were going. "Yenvy, we was just sposed to be chillin' remember, nothing more, right?" I warned.

"Girl, chill. I just wanna talk about Illiora. I don't have anyone to open up to," her eyes were more watery than earlier, like she was about to cry.

"Eneaj?" I supplied.

"She's dealin' with her grief in other ways...and I don't wanna burden her further, you know?"

"Dealin' with her grief how?" I asked, a little alarmed.

"The cutting...the not eating...the not sleeping-

"Wait, when?" I grabbed Yenvy shirt, pulling her towards me, my eyes pleading. "I touch every inch of her body and I've never felt even a scratch."

"Have you recently?" she asked, carefully taking my hands off of her.

"Sorry," I mumbled, trying to calm myself down, "And within this week yes," I answered. Yenvy shook her head, "No, but I mean the past two days?" I said no, all the happiness I had been feeling earlier gone just like that. "Yeah, and it ain't my place to tell you about her business, but...yeah," she shrugged tiredly.

"Well, I'm here for the both of you, Yenvy. I'm here."

"I just don't know what to do, Val. What if I had kept closer contact with her? We were drifting apart and maybe if I had hung on I could have given her better direction," Yenvy sobbed, "Maybe then she wouldn't be...dead."

"But she is, so you can't be stuck on what if's or things you wish you could have said or done. That'll eat at you, especially when you know that's not what that person would want. That's not what you would want. You tried helping her. You got her that flight."

"But she never made it to her flight. All because she was tryna do something good," she sniffled.

"Good people make mistakes," I whispered.

"Good people don't deserve to die," she wiped away at her eyes.

"Good people are still people, Yenvy."