Love and Food

xxviii: crush rush

February soon breezed around and valentine's day was coming up. With 3 guys that she has, Cecilia felt quite spoiled with love and affection.

Her mood seemed to be lifted as well, even if 2 of them were almost never there.

What started off as one guy turned into two and now it is three. Each guy had their own personality as well as pros and cons.

That's when Cecilia became inspired and started to write stories and poems, many are a lot of daydreams that she had while in class or working.

"never in my life have i experienced love

a love where i was respected and accepted for who i was

through trail and error, i learned the good and the bad

but it made me crave more for what i didn't have

when i first fell in love, my world changed

but suddenly, the plot got rearranged

me who was not used to being loved

was swarmed by guys who were a tier above

guys that respected me, accepted me, and wanted to be with me

guys that loved me for me

i was so used to fitting the mold of guys

that when i first heard those words, i started to cry"

Cecilia bought a new notebook solely for her thoughts so that she could try and write down all of the thoughts that she had in her head, because if she didn't do that, she would have a whole lot on her mind and her head would simply explode just at the thought of it.

For now, she was on cloud 9. She started to get her signature Cecilia energy back. She was more energetic, involved, and her vibes seemed more positive.

The one thing that was missing was a snow storm to come in. Cecilia craved to make a few snow angels or to fall in the snow with one of them.

Which reminded her, she opened up her notebook one more time and clicked a pen open.

"we made snow angels on a night where the snow fell softly.

you took me by the waist and pulled me into the snow with you.

the cold snow was replaced by the warmth as our bodies collided.

while the snow fell, we made snowballs and had a snowfall fight

as it felt that my inner child was healed again.

we tired each other out and soon fell in the snow.

that was when we created snow angels

not only did we make memories that night, we created a moment that would last longer than the snow that falls and melts."

That's when she got the urge to text Evan, it was Monday which meant that their classes intertwined and they could see each other.

"Are you on campus today?"

"Yeah."

"I'll probably come around in a little bit, once I get out of class."

"Ok."

She was in the college center and he was in main hall, which was a short walk away.

Once class ended, Cecilia ran.

Cecilia made sure to change her clothes underneath just in case Evan wanted to do something special. It was a mesh top with a matching red bra and underwear, all covered underneath her mint green beanie and jacket.

That's when she walked the campus and saw him outside the south hall. She wasn't too sure what to do, and she was frozen in time for a second. Eventually, her feet started to move and she had a stone cold expression.

Gravity dragged them to both of them before she arrived at his feet.

"Hey." Her voice started to sound shaky.

"Why hello there." Cecilia felt her face grow red before realizing that his voice was that deep, she nearly forgot what he sounded like.

"Been a minute, hasn't it?" She tried to sound chill but in reality was just starting to panic.

It was awkward.

"Well, I got to get to class."

"See you."

They walked off.

If that wasn't awkward enough, she felt like a fool. But, at the same time, a few new feelings started to come up and bit by bit, the way that she felt for him was starting to show, this time, it felt different.

She went to her car and went home.

As she arrived home and started to work on her readings for her hospitality law class, her phone buzzed.

"What did you want from me today?"

She ignored it and 30 minutes later, another text came through from Evan.

"Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?"

Cecilia finally decided to respond to him.

"Idk, I just wanted to see you I guess."

"Ok."

My god, she didn't know what to do anymore. At the same time, she picked up her book and tried to focus on what she was reading.

Everytime she would feel herself daydreaming, she would have to reread the page that she was at again and try to focus.

Focus focus focus.

She did not want a slip up like last semester, she has 3 guys on her plate now, and this time she is not going under like she did in the past.

That's when she decided to grab her notebook and write a poem dedicated to how she felt, maybe it would help her focus.

"your voice gives me goosbumps everytime i hear it

your eyes give me hints and seem to pull me in closer to you

my feet keep on going forward without me being aware

and my head and heart go in millions of directions before approaching you

normally when i see you, i don't get this way

but, it's strange, it's bizarre, it's new to me

could this be a new feeling that i never felt before?

or, am i living in a dream that seems to go on forever?

it's like you have my heart in your hands

it drives me crazy

but then again, you said that you liked your girls crazy

for now, i tuck and hide these feelings away

only to save them for a rainy day

or the day when i tell you all the feelings that i have to say"

She finished writing the poem only to soon fall back on her bed, and her covers seemed to welcome her in with open arms and that's when she held her book, rotated her body slightly to the side, and felt her eyelids grow heavy.