Love and Food

xl: it's not safe for you to be here

"I need to tell you something: do not come to banquet anymore. Nobody likes you and they were talking shit about you."

Cecilia stared at the text in disbelief. She clenched her fist and felt anger boiling out of her ears.

"Let them talk, they'll get over it."

"Ok........."

Cecilia couldn't believe that he would tell that to her. It was the way that he worded it that sounded so off putting. She was at work, so her job could help her take some frustration out.

All she could think about was that message. The last thing that she could think about was Kyle. Things seemed so off, why would he say that? Not to mention, he says that he doesn't like anybody in that class. It doesn't add up.

The next day, Cecilia quickly ran to Target. She had to do her monthly shopping and get Addy a birthday present. She left the house early, but ended up leaving Target later than usual due to her struggling to decide which manga Addy would want for her birthday.

"I'm going to be a little late. I went to Target to pick up a few things." She texted Kyle.

"That's what you get for going to Target." He replied back.

'Fuck you too.' Cecilia thought.

She pulled into campus and ran to the classroom. As usual, she sat down and was chewing on her lips so slightly.

"You looked stressed out." Kyle texted her.

Cecilia tried to fight out her tears, but it was of no use. She excused herself to the bathroom.

In the stall, she started to sob violently. Things were starting to fall apart, and she had no control, Kyle must have known what he was doing.

A few minutes after she got out of the stall, she was crying by the mirror. Addy walked in and saw her, tears covering her cheeks.

"Was it that fucker again?" She asked, but then realized that her voice was super loud.

"Yes." Cecilia nodded through the tears.

Addy hugged her and let her cry on her shoulder.

"We'll talk about this when class is over, I'll call you."

"Thank you."

Addy went in a stall and Cecilia splashed some water on her face. Once she checked her reflection one last time, she went back in the classroom and held her head down.

The rest of the class, she focused on taking notes. Not bothering to look at Kyle. She made sure her cursive writing was only legiable to her and her only.

It was as if Kyle was no longer in her life.

Class finally ended and she ran to her car. As soon as she started her car and drove away, Addy called her.

"Hey, I hope that you are doing ok. I saw you struggling to keep it together during class."

"Yeah, he's just been stressing me out."

"Ah, I see. So you really meant what you said when there was trouble in purgatory."

"Recently espically. He has always done weird things, even when we first met."

"Such as?"

"He used to follow me to the bathroom, and I felt violated a lot."

"I remember that. I thought it was weird too."

"And now with this Evan shit, I'm pissed at him."

Cecilia started to sob.

"What happened this time?" Addy asked.

"He told me to never come to banquet anymore, because nobody likes me and they were talking shit about me. It doesn't make sense, he doesn't like anybody there."

"I don't know if I should tell you, but I always got a bad vibe from him. He was always so condensending and pessismitic, not to mention, was focused on solely having you for him and him only."

"You know what? I felt the same way. 100 fucking percent."

"Not to mention, that he was a manipulator, and I know that this term is passed around a lot, but he was a gaslighter too. I saw him hurt you, and I feel like I failed you as a friend."

"Addy, no. It was me. I tried to deny and sugarcoat things. Such as thinking that maybe he was awkward or anxious. But, he never really changed."

"I'm glad that you took note of that. My best advice as a friend is to leave him, he's not doing you any justice and he knows that he can get away with anything with you. You have to stand you ground and let him know that he can't control you."

"I just did the other day, it was liberating. Might be why I'm so shaken up."

"Because you did the right thing. You knew he was being so bad to you, so you stood your ground. He was trying to take you under, and you didn't let him."

"I've been dragged so many times, that I was so used to it. Not anymore. I'm not going to let him destroy me."

"Good, fuck that bastard! He doesn't deserve a smart, charming, friendly, caring, lovable girl like you! I know that this is a rough talk, and maybe you should run it with your therapist too."

"For sure. I just see this as a little mental hiccup. I've been more than overwhealmed about this year, and I'm probably going to take a long hiatus from men in general."

"You need it. Connect with yourself and find yourself. There is more in life than a relationship. Think about who you are as a person, what makes you smile, the traits that you like about yourself. I do believe that you should follow the advice that you give others. Advice works 2 ways."

"Thank you, I will from now on. Just, there's been a lot on my chest. It's when you get into these situations that at first, it feels like you are so special, but it's actually stressful, demanding, and not to mention draining. It's a story for sure, but not one I'd ever live through again."

The two of them giggled.

"Why don't we changed the conversation? I actually bought you a little present for your birthday, and I was deciding for longer than usual." Cecilia said.

"Awww, really? You should've have!"

"You've been such an awesome friend all year. For the highs, the lows, and so many more. You've seen it all and stuck with me. And, I cannot thank you enough for all you did."