Chasing Cars

Chapter 23

"Okay, let's get you settled back into bed." Dr Bailey tells a weak and very sweaty Meredith. She had just had another session of chemo. But it's now the much stronger version of chemo, IL2 and it's taking even more out of her.

"Don't feel well." Meredith mutters. "Where... Der?"

Bailey has to listen closely to hear Meredith as she's so quiet.

"I know sweetie. He went to check on some stuff when you fell asleep. He'll be back in just a few minutes. I paged him to let him know that we are going back to your room now." Bailey tells her softly. Bailey pushes Meredith's gurney back to her room and a nurse is there to help transfer her back into her bed and reconnect her to all of the medical equipment.

Meredith weakly nods. "So nauseous..." she whispers.

"Do you think you need ..." Bailey isn't able to finish her sentence before Meredith proceeds to throw up all over herself. A bucket is quickly placed under her chin but not before she has already made a big mess all over herself.

"Oh Mer, it's okay." Bailey gently rubs Meredith's back as she continues to throw up.

"I'm going to grab a new gown for her." The nurse quickly says.

Meredith is just dry heaving by this point and coughing. "I don't feel well." Meredith cries.

"I know sweetie, I know." Bailey says, feeling so bad for her former intern.

"I'm back! Oh Mer!" Derek runs in with a sleeping Maddie in his arms and sees Meredith that she has vomit all over her gown. He sees that her skin is so pale and sweaty.

"Derek!" Meredith sobs. "Don't feel well!"

Derek sees how sick Meredith looks and then looks down at his sleeping 4 year old in his arms. "Bailey, do you mind taking her to Richard please? She doesn't need to see her mom in this condition."

"Of course. She doesn't need to see Meredith like this. It'll scare her. I have a break coming up anyways so I'll take her to Richard and maybe we can get some ice cream."

"Thank you so much Bailey." Derek gently transfers Maddie into Bailey's arms. Maddie shifts in her sleep but doesn't wake up.

"Let's get you cleaned up Mer." Derek says softly. Derek helps her up and helps her walk to the bathroom.

"Head hurts..." she whispers.

"Okay, let's get you clean and then we'll see what we can do about that."

Derek helps her into the shower and before he can lower her onto the shower chair, she almost collapses on top of him.

Meredith starts whimpering. "Dizzy... can't stand..."

Derek quickly has her sit down. "You're okay. You're okay." He gets the dirty gown off of her and then starts the shower.

Despite the water being warm, Meredith shivers during the entire shower.

Once she's clean, Derek helps her into a new gown and gives her a kiss on the forehead. "You're going to beat this Meredith Grey."

Meredith just weakly smiles  up at him.

"Okay, let's get you tucked into bed." Derek helps her stand up and when he sees her wobbling he instantly picks her up and carries her to her hospital bed, not wanting her to pass out on him. He frowns at how much she's shivering.

"Der?" Meredith whispers as he's tucking her in with extra blankets.

"Yeah Mer? Doing okay?"

"Don't feel well but I want Maddie." She weakly gets out. "I want my baby."

"She's with Richard and Bailey. Let me page one of them to bring her here." Derek pulls out his pager and quickly texts Richard. "She'll be here in a few minutes, Mer. You sure you're up to seeing her?"

"Of course I am. She's my daughter. I want to see her." She whispers, coughing a little.

"I know she is. Just making sure. Are you still feeling nauseous?" He asks.

Meredith nods.

"Okay, let me know if you need to throw up."

Just then Maddie runs into the room, followed by Richard.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Maddie yells excitedly. "Hi!"

"Hi baby girl. How are you doing? Did you have fun with Richard and Bailey?" Meredith weakly asks.

"So much fun mommy! I eats ice cweam! Stwawbewwy ice cweam wike you!" Maddie says, giggling. "Nanas wanted nana ice cweam but no nana ice cweam! Oh! Mama! I gots extwa ice cweam! Want some? Daddy want some?? It's so yummy!" The young girl rambled, clearly getting that trait from her mother.

"No thank you monkey." Meredith says softly, feeling too nauseous to even think about eating anything, let alone her favorite ice cream. "All for you."

"Otay. Daddy?" Maddie looks up at Derek and puts some ice cream on the spoon and holds it up to him. "Ice cweam daddy! For you!"

"Why thank you Maddie." Derek takes the spoon and takes a bite. "Very yummy, but coffee ice cream is still the best!"

Maddie giggles. "Gwoss! Coffee ice cweam gwoss! Stwawbewwy da bestest fwavor! Wight Mama?"

Meredith nods, unable to talk in fear she would throw up. She looks up at Derek for help.

"Maddie, stay with Richard for a few minutes okay? I need to help your mommy in the bathroom."

"I help!" Maddie says loudly.

"Stay here sweetie." Derek says as he helps Meredith out of bed, frowning as she once again collapses onto him, not having any strength to stand. He picks her up and carries her to the bathroom.

"Mama otay?" Maddie frowns, looking up at Richard.

"She'll be okay sweetie. She's just not feeling well." Richard tells her.

"I go helps her feel betta!" She insists.

"Stay with me Maddie. Your daddy can help her." Richard says.

Maddie frowns and stares at the door until they come out.

When they finally come out, Meredith is even more pale than she was before. Derek is carrying her back to bed, her body cuddling into his chest.

Derek looks up at Richard and nods, indicating she'd thrown up more. The IL2 was really affecting her and it's only the first dose. He knew the moment he saw her today that it was going to be a rough road ahead with the IL2 treatments. And she will have to have the IL2 treatments 3 days a week. She will be receiving IL2 doses Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

"Mama otay?" Maddie asks, looking at her mom.

Derek attempts a smile for his young daughter. "She'll be okay, baby girl. She's just feeling sick right now."

Maddie frowns. "Mommy, don't be sick!"

"She's trying sweetie." Derek tells Maddie softly.

Meredith looks up at her young daughter and tries to smile at her. "I'll be okay baby." She weakly gets out.

"Mommy cold? You gots goosey bumps on you!" Maddie says loudly.

Meredith nods, shivering more.

"Daddy! Mommy needs more blankies!" Maddie insists.

"Let me grab some more." Derek goes to to the closet and grabs a few more blankets and puts them on top of Meredith. He notices her eyes closing.

"Let's let Mommy sleep. She's very tired. Why don't you give her a kiss?" Derek says.

Maddie nods. "Night night Mama!" She gives Meredith a kiss. "Nanas says goodnight too!" She has nanas give Meredith a kiss also. "Mommy sweeping!"

"Come on sweetie. Let's let mommy sleep." He picks Maddie up off of the bed. He leans down and gives Meredith a kiss on the forehead. "Feel good Mer. I love you. I'll be back later."

We hope you enjoyed! Thanks to my co-writer _Ktje_