Esmeray (Queen of Darkness)

11

I don't know what to expect, but something about Damians demeanor tells me that I should be ready for a fight. Reaching for my knife, my hand brushes against the side of my thigh and a low sigh escapes my mouth. They took all my knives. Glaring at Damian while he paces in front of me, muttering various curses and twisting his necklace back and forth over his neck.

We've been sitting here, on the front steps of his castle for the past ten minutes and my patience is wearing thin. Snagging his wrist as he walks by, he stops and scowls at me while I stick my leg out so he can't walk forward.

"What are we doing?"

"Nothing!" he snaps, then runs his hand through his hair, "just give me a minute."

I want to pressure him to speak, press on his buttons so I get my desired outcome. At least that's what my lesson always told me. As queen you need to be determined, unriled, you get what you seek and nothing less. I always hated those lessons, and that is the reason, the only reason, I hold my tongue and let him start up his pacing. Turning my attention from him I look up at the sky and stretch out my fingers.

My fingers have always been the center of my power. I feel the breezes against my skin and with my hands I can use them. Focusing on the draft washing against my pinky I listen for its voice then lure it closer to me with my own quiet voice. I was laughed at for the way I use my power, my voice, but I never understood why our instructors told us to command the wind. I don't want to command it, I don't want to force it under my will, I don't want to cage it in. If you cage something in for two long, eventually it will break out and seek out your heart. I want my power to be a gift. I get to hear the wind, listen to its songs, I get to know things other people don't. Not because I force it to speak to me, to listen to me, but because our relationship is mutual. It fights for me, aids me, and in return I let it flow freely.

As the breeze coils around my finger it sends spirals down my finger then crawls up to my neck where one end rolls around the top of my ear. I never understood why the wind always touches my ear, or behind my ear, but that's where it goes no matter how hard I try to convince it to stay. Sighing I shake my head and it flies back to the clouds where it joins its family in the endless lines that explore the vastness of the air.

I envy them.

They flow freely. They explore. They live. I want that.

"Okay." Spinning around I tilt my head as Damian towers over me, "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

Holding my eyes I watch as his eyes take on a new shine as he speaks, "To see Adeena."

It feels as if I can't breathe. Which is insane given the fact that the wind is pulsing against my face while Damian leads me to a brick out building. He said that I'm going to see Adeena, that she's here. If she's living freely and isn't dead then why didn't she come back? Why did she abandon us? Did she hate us that much, did she hate Cassian that much? Her own brother? How could she do that to him, he was a wreck, he was close to death and instead of his sister being there to pick up the pieces, it was me. She deserted him. I bore the consequences of her actions. She left her place as queen, she forsake the throne. If she hadn't left, if she hadn't run away I wouldn't be this. I wouldn't have been groomed to be queen, I wouldn't have had to go through all of that....that torture. I wouldn't have had to feel the sting of the whip against my back, or the aches from hours of training, the bruises, I wouldn't have had to spill that blood. It's because of her. Why did I even come down here to save her? I should've come down here to kill her, to make her feel what I felt, to curse her to oblivion, she deserves all the pain that she caused me. I want her to feel it.

Snatching my wrist, I jump as Damians cold hand wraps around my skin and I look up to see that his face has lost color. Shaking my head I shut my eyes and breathe in deeply through my nose. What the sky is wrong with me?! Biting my tongue till I taste the metallic of my blood I open my eyes and relief washes over me as the color of the world goes back to normal.