Esmeray (Queen of Darkness)

29

The sun has risen. Peeking out over Damian's head I watch the sun crest the mountains and my pulse drums in my ears. Today is the today. The day I turn nineteen, and the day war will be unleashed on a kingdom who doesn't deserve it. I don't want to get up. I want to fall back asleep and make this all just a dream. I would even wish to wake up in HE. This, what's coming, I know it will destroy me. Whether I live or die. Drifting away from the glass, I look at the group of people around me and I feel my eyes water. Cayden is curled up at me and Dahlia's feet with a blanket and stuffed animal clutched to his chest, Alexander and Jared are sprawled out over the floor and Damian is leaning against the side of my bed with his book open in his lap. I don't want to lose these people. I don't want to watch any of them die. I've seen enough death, I don't want more. Carefully I get out of my blankets and make my way around everyone. Quietly I open the door and shut it behind me with a sigh.

Walking down the halls, I make sure to walk extra slow so I can memorize every hallway and staircase. When I finally reach the guard room, I get inside and go over to the wall lined with weapons. Picking up a sword, a few knives, and an ax, I put them all on a table and grab some clothing from the rack on the other wall. Quickly I duck behind a cut off changing area and I bite down on my lip as I painfully slip my shoulder into the leather padding. Pulling a breastplate over my head I tie the strings in the front and wince through every small movement. Straightening my armor I tug on my boots and lace them all the way up to the bottom of my knees. Grabbing a back holster, I tie it around my chest and slip my ax into it. Next I grab a vest for my knives and tie that over my other leather straps. Finally, I take the sword and put it into the side sheath on my hip. Going to a mirror, I examine myself in the glass and I watch a single tear slip down my nose.

I never want to have to dress like this again. I never want to wear this tight shirt, leather armor, vest, and blades ever again. I hate this. I hate how these clothes fit me like a glove. I hate that the itch of the leather, weight of the metal, does nothing to me. I hate that I'm used to it. I hate how I missed it. This is what I was made to be. A soldier, a killer, a person of war. I tried so hard to separate myself from this life, I tried to run from it, and yet here I am. Erebus would be proud. Taking some black grease off the shelf, I sit in front of the mirror and open the tub. Dragging two fingers through the grease I get to work on my face. Under my eyes I drag a line up to my ear and do the same to the opposite side. Next I take a brush and paint a bird in flight over my cheek. Screwing the cap back on, I look at my work.

I look colder. Darker. Powerful. Exactly what I wanted. I wanted to face my old kin and show them I'm not weak. I'm still the same person they used to fear. I will show Erebus that I will not go down easily. He created me to be strong, ruthless, and that's exactly what I will be. Just against him.

Leaving the room, I make my way back to the dining hall where the king asked us to assemble last night. Walking in I look around at everyone and they stare with open mouths at the picture I've painted.

"I think I just peed myself." Cayden announces.

"If you were going for terrifying," Alexander adds, "you did a great job."

Sitting down in my seat, I ask Dahlia to do my hair and she smiles before coming up behind me to work. At the head of the table, the king stands and looks at each of us.

"We received a message from the Aura." I inwardly flinch, "They have decided to give us the time they plan to attack."

I roll my eyes, "Of course they did. They want to rub it in our faces."

"What time?" Damian says.

"Three hours."

The room stills, even the maids share a collective gasp. Three hours. Three sky forsaken hours. Erebus is not wasting any time. Tying off my hair, Dahlia tells me she's done and I thank her while I get up from my seat.