Esmeray (Queen of Darkness)

23

Laying down I roll over so I face my window. Damian's words still plague me. He said to try. To try to do what? What Damian? What? Grumbling, I kick my covers off, and walk to my door. Hovering over my handle my hand retracts from the metal knob and I instead raise my knuckles to my mouth and bite down on them. Go or not go. Go or not go. Deciding I'm better than this, I pull my door open and make my way over to his room. Throwing open the door, he springs out of his bed wearing only pants and snags the sword beside his bed. Holding the tip out at me, I watch clarity return to him and he curses at me before setting his book and sword down. Crossing my arms I glare at him and he points a finger at my head.
"Don't ever do that again."
"What the hell were you thinking?! You can't leave me like that! Quit." I grab a pillow off his chair and throw it at him, "Being." another pillow. "So." one more, "Vague!" my hands grasp air and I realize that none of my attempts to hit him made their mark. "Ah!"
"Are you done with your tantrum?"
"Don't piss me off even more, Terran."
He cracks a smile and kicks aside a pillow, "Why not? It's fun."
"Wipe that smirk off your face before that book over there does it for you."
Shaking his head he walks to me and I step back inadvertently making myself fall into one of his seating chairs. "If you laugh I swear to the sky!"
Very obviously he holds back his laugh and I send him a cold stare, "Are you going to calmly tell me what's going on now?"
"You said try. What does that mean exactly? And how the hell did you know I was pushing you away?! It's infuriating!"
Sitting on the table in front of me he takes my hands and rubs his thumbs over my knuckles, instantly soothing my anger. "What did you dream about?"
I frown, "What?"
"This morning. I assume you dreamed about something that made you take off."
"How did you-" he shoots me a brief look and I sigh as I take my hand away from him to rub the ache in my shoulder, "I've had the dream before it's just Cassian." Quieter I mutter, "My Cass."
Shaking his head, Damian stands up and brushes my hand aside so he can look at my wound. Moving my shirt he frowns at the cut that I tore open, "You're supposed to let wounds heal. Both physically, and emotionally. It will take time for you to move past what happened with you and.....him. But that doesn't mean it will happen to us."
Grabbing some clean bandages from his closet he puts them on a tray along with a bowl of water and crouches beside me, "He was, is very important to me. It's hard to just....let go."
"The more you pinch yourself with a metal poker, the greater it will affect those around you."
"What?"
He chuckles, "Sooner or later your own hurt is going to hurt those around you. Even though you don't mean for it too. Even when you don't realize."
"So that's what you meant?" I flinch as he rubs a towel over my cut, "when you said try? To try and take the metal poker off my skin?"
"No. I wanted you to try to let me in. We've had this same conversation before, Ariel, and you always apologize after. Even when you say you will try, you let fear and your opinion hold you back."
"I'm not used to letting other people carry me. I'm used to having to be strong for myself."
"I know."
Tying off the new bandage. He puts the stuff away then sits back down in front of me. "I'll try." I tell him.
Kissing the top of my head he nods and walks over to his bed where he grabs his book, "Can I stay?" I ask, "for a little? Just to not be alone when I think?"
"Stay as long as you want."
Thanking him, I turn around as he lights the small lamp by his bed side and falls back into whatever world is written in his book.
~~~
By the time I'm done thinking, Damian's lamp has been blown out and his book lays sprawled over his chest. Grinning, I stretch out my stiff limbs and quietly make my way over to him. Taking his book I put it on the table then lift the covers and lay down next to him. Shifting behind me Damian's arm curls around my waist and his chin falls over the top of my head.
"Ariel." he mumbles.
I don't reply and I know he didn't say my name as a question. He's half asleep and even still he knows it's me. Staying tucked against his side I shut my eyes and he places one last brush of his lips against my temple before sleep pulls both me and him under.
Atreus takes me to a pond. A deep murky green pond. When I slip off his back, he dips his head to drink and I sit at the edge of the dock. Grazing the top of the water, my bare feet create tiny ripples and I lean back against my palms to feel the sun against my skin. On the other side of the pond a man is crouched in the bushes and I frown as something glints in the light. Who is it? Standing up I cup my hands over my mouth to speak to them but my voice doesn't reach far enough. Soon, I hear the cracking of a bow and I spin around just as the arrow shoots past my face and digs itself into Atreus. Twisting my wrists, the water shoots upward with my winds and a massive wave drowns the man's cries as I submerge him. Seeing his dead body I listen for his heart beat, before I turn and see what damage he caused.
Atreus.
Running to him, I drop down by his side and he breathes heavily as the arrows shaft sticks out of his side. Picking his head up he neighs at me and I crawl over to his neck and he rests his head on my lap. Sobbing, I scream for someone to help. For someone to come, but I am alone. No one is coming.
"Atreus." I crack, "Please. Atreus."
He nudges my stomach and I lay my forehead between his ears, "I'm sorry."
With one last breath, he leaves me. Crying out, I plead for the sky not to take his breath. Not yet. I need him. Putting my hands on his shoulder, I strain to hear his heartbeat but I know it won't be there. He's gone.
"Get up!" I shout. "Atreus get up!"
"Please!"
Reaching for the arrow I grab the tip and before I can pull it out, someone grabs me from behind. I get dragged by my waist and a black bag is placed over my head as I struggle to get away from them. I twist and shout, curse and punch, but I can't get away. As my body starts to sting from the drag I feel the ground lift out from beneath me and I scream as I'm tossed into the darkness and start to fall down. Clawing at the air, I rip the hood off and see shadowed faces above me as I crash land into warm water. Resurfacing I gasp for breath and my legs scream as I fight to keep my head up. At the top, the people watch me and I yell at them trying to get them to let me up. If they hear me, they don't care. They just watch. When I know I won't get anything from them, I turn and look at what they dropped me into.
A well.
A stone well.
Swimming to the side, I try to climb my way out but my fingers slip and I fall back down. Covering my mouth the water leaks in through my lips and I gasp as its taste floods my tongue.
Blood.
Looking at my hands I now see the red liquid over my skin and I vomit into the blood I swim in. Blood. So much blood. Where did they get this much Terran blood.
"Who are you?!" I yell. "What do you want?!"
They answer as one, "War."
Opening my mouth I yell just as hands from below wrap around my ankles and my scream is drowned out by the blood as I get sucked under.
I can't breathe. The blood is suffocating me. I fight to get back to the light up at the top, but the hands around my ankles don't slow and don't ease. They won't let go. I supposed this is how I will die. Drowned in blood. This is how I will die. Closing my eyes, I stop fighting and open my mouth. Die. Die. Die. Let me die.
The sky has a grasp on my lungs. I can feel the wind slowly leave my chest, and as my last bubble of air coats my throat I get spit out onto a stone floor. Wheezing, I scramble for air and I watch myself drip blood around me. Red. It's still red. Shaking under my weight, my arms strain to push myself up and when I finally peel myself off the ground I am able to make out the scratching I was laying on. It's a series of lines. Sideways, vertical, and various sizes. Old writing. Shuffling back my fingers run over every line, leaving a trail of blood on them, and I'm able to make out what it says. Or rather, what it counts up too. 8. The amount of days that make up two weeks. Above them is written, Revenge. We purge. There's that word again. PURGE. Cassin shouted it in my dreams and now it's here again. Along with the word REVENGE.
Purge what? The Revenge of what?
Running my hand through my hair, I feel my fingers vibrate against my scalp and I bite my lip to try and relieve the fear making my body tremble. Standing up, I take in my surroundings and find myself in a cave. A Phantom cave. Unmistakable by the owl painted on the wall.
What am I doing back here?
Shedding a layer of clothing, I find myself taking comfort in the familiar climate and I stretch my fingers to blow a draft along my body to dry up my skin that still drops red dots. Wiping some from my eyes, I squint through the sting, and look over at the entrance.
Eight figures draped in black. Phantom's. Reaching for my knives my fingers dance in the air and I curse. I am weaponless. Stepping forward one of them drops their hood and I'm greeted by white hair. Tesha's white hair. Without a word she grabs a knife and I barely drop in time to avoid it. Rolling back up I face her then search for the knife she threw at me. It's lodged into the wall. Glancing over at her I see her standing patiently and I move as fast as I can. Running for the knife I lengthen my strides and jump to grab it. Snaking around my neck, a rope wraps around me and I yelp as I'm jerked backward. Crashing onto my side I look up and Tesha tilts her head as she runs her fingers over the whip.
She's toying with me. She knows she could kill me. I know she could kill me, but she's not. She is playing. Playing with me. I'm a doll. Glaring at her I pick myself up and clench my fists. Cocking my head to the side, I watch as a wind blows in and knocks her off her feet. Falling down she lands remarkably and an invisible fists hits my side. Crying out I buckle sideways and look over at the other Phantom. One of them must have hit me with the air. Sprinting for me, my eyes grow wide and Tesha swings sideways wrapping her legs around my neck and puts me down.  Grasping at her legs I try to pry off but her strength is too great.
"Tesha." I rasp. "Stop."
She doesn't answer me. She keeps me for a little longer then rolls up on her feet. Coughing I touch my side and neck and wince from the pain. Skies what is this?
"Get up." she says.
I look her dead in the eye, "No."
Another Phantom sends a spiral of wind at my jaw and I cry as the blow twists my head sideways. "Get up."
"No." Tesha kicks my shoulder and I scream.
"Get up."
"Why are you doing this?" I sob.
"Revenge."
Her boot connects with the side of my face and I black out quickly.
Groaning I wake up with pain swelling all over my body and I wail as I try to put weight on my shoulder. Moving onto my back, I hit a wall and I rest my palm against its cold surface. Where am I now? Shimming up I lean back and my heart drops as I realize, as I realize where I am. This room. Panic inflames my chest and my ability to breathe weakness.
No. No. No. NO.
I'm not here. I'm not back. I'm not here.
Sobbing, I pound against the walls. Let me out. Let me out. I beat the walls with every bit of strength I have. I scream until my throat burns. I kick until the skin on my soles bleed. I want out. Let me out. I can't move. It's too small. I can't breathe. The air is too light. I can't see. The room is too dark. Let me out.
I can't hit anything anymore. There is no muscle left. I scream though. I scream as long as I can. I sob and cry. I wail and whimper. I want out.
"LET ME OUT!"