Esmeray (Queen of Darkness)

17

Adeena, her name has been on my mind since I sat down for breakfast. What will happen to her when the Aura take over? Will she run? Hide? Or face her family? What will any of us do? Sighing I push back my plate and a maid comes and scoops it away. Looking out the window I follow the branches of a willow tree and my heart lurches as a butterfly lands on the limb.

Cassian told me once, that when you see a butterfly land on a weeping willow it's someone from your family coming to see you. We would pretend that whenever a butterfly came to land on the willow that we sat under it would be Adeena, or Cass's mother coming to see how he's grown. Now he can believe that the butterfly was his mother. Adeena is not dead, and he knows that now. All those butterflies were his mother. Getting up out of my chair, I walk to the window and lean up against the wall. I wonder who this butterfly is here for. Is it someone from Damians family? Someone from Alexanders? Or maybe, it's someone from mine. Twisting my bracelet around my wrist I find the bead with the carved in letters and thumb over them. AR. Ariel.....what? What is my last name? What is my family name!? Clenching my fist I watch the butterfly fly away and my back aches as I picture Erebus up in his house watching me grow frustrated over the memories he took from me. He didn't have the right. He doesn't have the right. Why me? Why did he take me? Why take my memories? Why not someone else's, why me?

What did I do wrong?

What caused me to feel all of this. To face all of this. What made all this pain, all the hurt, choose me? What did I do? What did I do?! Feeling a breeze crawl up my ear I clench my jaw and kick the wall.

Behind me, Damian clears his throat and I settle my anger as he looks from me to his father before addressing him. "There have been some.....occurrences." I almost want to roll my eyes at him, "Erebus was here in the castle last night."

Alexander coughs, "What?"

"He came to see me last night," I add before Damian can speak, "before he sent me a message. He said that I've chosen my side, that mercy won't be shown to me. That I won't be spared in what's to come. He's planning something, your majesty. Something that will change everything. Something that will break the ground we're standing on."

Folding his hands together the king nods and tells me to sit, "What do you think, Ariel? What do you feel?"

I finger the knife by my plate, "The winds, they're all afraid. He's calling them to him. All of them. I can feel.." I pause and rub my palm as my winds wrap around my hand, "I can feel their pain. He's breaking them. They don't have any will of their own. They're his now."

"Breaking them?" Alexander introjects.

I nod, "I'd compare it to how you train animals, but it's much worse. Instead of letting the spirit inside them live, he's killing it. He's turning them into-"

"Machines." Alexander breathes.

"No. Soldiers. He's turning them into soldiers."

"But soldiers are people, they have their own spirit."

If only he knew. If only he saw what I saw. Lived through what I lived through. If he went through everything I went through, he would know that Aura soldiers are not free. They are not spirited. They are broken. Controlled. Ruthless. They have no soul. No heart. That same soldier lives in me, and she's battling against me.

"No." My voice comes out cold and I clench my fists as I picture the people they made me kill. As I picture the ten and twelve year olds that were forced to kill. I picture my first kill. Kyler. "They have no soul." quieter, so only I can hear, I say, "I have no soul."

"So, they will come." the king says as he stands, "just as we assumed they would."

Damian stands as well, "We need to be ready."