Die for You

Chapter 18

I was drowning. Drowning as she forced her lips onto mine; fingers tightly wrapped in my hair, pulling down my head preventing my escape. I tried to fight my way to the surface, but each time I reached that level of awareness, I slipped further down, wrapping my hands into her beautiful hair as our tongues met, pulling her into me.

Despite that desperate will to fight and survive, I nearly, so very nearly, gave myself completely to that one beautiful moment of passion; surrendered myself to the depths, drowned myself in her.

'This is not good, Freen, this is not smart at all.'

The thought ran through my rational mind as we pressed our lips together. Finally accepting the truth, finally realizing the gravity of my mistake, I placed my hands firmly on her hips and gently moved her away. Pulling back from the kiss before we took it any further, before I fell any deeper into that black abyss.

"Freen," I heard her say, a hint of hurt and confusion in her voice as she tried to step back into that embrace, tried to kiss me once again. I held her hips even tighter, and locked my arms, holding her at bay, saving myself.

Despite the gloom in this cool lonely summerhouse, I saw her eyes open and stare up at me, almost causing me to break once more.

"Say something," she said finally, shattering the silence with that beautiful voice.

"I think it's time you went back inside, Becky. We'll talk about this in the morning."

'If you remember anything,' I thought as she lowered her head, hid her eyes from me and nodded.

I opened the door for her and watched her leave, not a word passing between us. Frankly, I was glad, my heart was still beating rapidly, seemingly to tell me to go after her; yet I was forcing it to beat the retreat. I'm not sure I've ever made such a sacrifice in my life to date, giving up that brief moment of real passion.

I can still smell her perfume in the air and I can still taste her lipstick on my own lips.

This is fucked up, this is totally, totally, fucked up. So much for professional distance.

I breathed a sigh of relief and headed back into the house taking the opportunity to do a quick patrol of the outside of the building.

Thankfully, the rest of my patrol of the interior of the house was uneventful. Pretty much all of the extra staff, and most of the guests had already left; and things had definitely quietened down. I found James sat at a table in a side room by the kitchens, a half-empty bottle of wine in front of him.

"Well, hey, look who it is," he drawled with a smile on his face as I entered the room.

He kicked out a chair from under the table and gestured towards it, "take a seat, Blondie. You look shattered, long night?"

"You can say that, boss."

"Simon said you went to look for Rebecca. "I see you found her then... or did she find you?"

I sat down in the proffered chair and stared back at him, holding my best poker face, not giving anything away.

"I found her in the garden actually, she was a little upset, had a bit of a disagreement with her father; nothing to worry about though. When I found her, she was just a little drunk, so I arranged for the staff to put her to bed."

"I assume she'll be terribly disappointed."

I frowned at him as he smiled back at me, that fucking knowing smile again, the one I want to slap straight off his face.

"Whatever your implying, I'm telling you it wasn't like that, boss" I said trying to defend myself at his smirk. "She was just pissed off and upset. I let her rant for a while, she had a bit of a cry and then said goodnight, that's all."