Die for You

Chapter 33

The week following our 'date' went like a blur, Becky having meeting after meeting in preparation for the big arms expo in the States and me tagging along behind like a puppy. I was doing my damndest to get my life back on track but between my job and my therapy sessions with Joanna I'd been struggling for time. 

Today though was different. Today, I'd managed to do some shopping and even a bit of flat hunting courtesy of a rare, and unwanted, day off.

"I'm not taking a day off." I'd said flatly when the subject was raised a day or so earlier.

"You are, Freen. JJ has arranged cover and I'm making it happen."

"Are you sick of the sight of me already, Miss Armstrong?"

"JJ, will you talk to her please?"

"Becky is right, Freen. You need a day off; two ideally. You haven't had a break since you started working for us and you've had several stressful situations to deal with during that time. We aren't the army and tomorrow you are not working, consider that an order."

I'd slammed my hand down on the speakerphone at his words only to find it covered by a smaller one.

"Freen, it's a good thing, babe. You really do need a break. You've done nearly two weeks straight and you've been going to see Joanna most nights. Take the day off. If it makes you feel any better, I promise not to do anything silly because you're not around."

It had made me feel better, yet I had woken up this morning with a continuing need to call her or text her to make sure things were okay. It was only when I'd got back from a painful early morning run to a particularly short voicemail message that I decided to do as she asked.

'Freenky, babe, look, I'm happy that you're trying to look out for me, and whether it's personal or professional, it doesn't matter. But I've got another meeting to go to and you're supposed to be chilling out, so please will you, for my sake, fucking relax? I'll call you later. Now go and swim, or shop or something productive. Stop worrying about me. I'm in good hands today and I'm not going to be leaving the office... ok? I promise I'll be fine with Richard. Look, I've got to go, I'll speak to you later babe. Have a good day."

So I had. I'd gone out and shopped, bought some work and casual wear, once again eating into my cash advance from James before wandering around some estate agents' windows looking for somewhere to live.

Things hadn't gone well.

So, with a mood born of the ridiculous nature of the flat prices in fucking London and the stress about Becky being on her own gnawing away at me, I was not a happy bunny when I got to Joanna's that evening for my next session. Inevitably, she knew it from the outset.

"Freen, you seem to be wound up pretty tightly tonight. I think we should start by discussing what's wrong." she said as we sat over our now traditional herbal tea.

Five minutes into my rant about London and how expensive it was, Joanna held up a hand.

"It's ok to be worried about Becky, Freen, you are allowed to say it."

It stopped me in my tracks, not because I was surprised she knew something about me without me actually saying it, but it was the abruptness of her statement that stopped me in my tracks. Normally, she began one of her 'make Freen analyze herself' sessions with some kind of a question; not a statement like that.

"What?" I managed to stammer out. "I'm not, I'm not worried... she's in good hands today."

"Freen, from the first time you put your phone on the table in front of you, you kept looking at it; especially when you mention having a day off. You're all wound up and it's not just because you've bought a few clothes and realized that London is actually quite an expensive place to live in."