Die for You

Chapter 20

The run back was uneventful. Well, as far as deep and meaningful conversations went. We jogged in more or less silence, completing our laps of the lake before leaving the woods and heading out into the bright morning sun. There was a bit more activity around the estate as we crossed the top of the South Gardens and ran past Jenna's shooting hut. 

Figures could be seen in the windows of the house and somewhere in the distance, the distinctive sound of a two stroke engine was chugging along, presumably some sort of large lawn mower to sort out the massive gardens.

There was a faint smell of cooking as we passed the kitchens, the hint of a proper squaddies breakfast being cooked. We ignored it and pressed on, finally arriving back at our starting point.

"Twice 'round the pool to warm down, Freen, come on." She said, setting off at a light jog, before slowing down to a walk. "You're not as unfit as you implied. Do you always tell lies like that?"

I shook my head, trying to catch my breath once again. In all honesty, I'd surprised myself this morning. Ok, we hadn't exactly been running at my normal speeds, but still, I hadn't done badly, all things considered.

"Next time I'll run at my normal pace, see if you can keep up then."

There was a cheeky smirk on her face as she said it, but still I vowed to get myself up to peak fitness as soon as possible. She might think she's a runner, but I can run, too. I just don't like it.

"Not a problem, Becky," I told her, using her nickname for the first time since the lake; trying, in my own strange way, to tell her I'd forgiven her for her insult, and that it was time to move on.

"I bet you dinner sometime that you won't be able to keep up, though."

"Deal," I said before realizing the consequences of what I'd just agreed to.

"Cool," she said quickly, before I got a chance to retract my agreement. "I'll look forward to winning that bet. Time for that swim then."

I got changed quickly and dived into the cold water of the open air pool. It was a warm morning, but the water was icy cold, and I was glad that I'd warmed down from the run properly before diving in. 

As it was, I could feel the shock hitting my muscles as the cold sank in and I swam a little bit faster to get everything moving once again. 

I immersed myself fully in that freezing cold water and turned my thoughts inward; this was a mess, a mess of my own creation. I knew that giving in to her about her name would be a big deal, would perhaps signal a softening in the professionalism that I'd so carefully cultured.

What I hadn't expected was that she would actually kiss me as a result and that I would kiss her back as passionately, as deeply, as I had done.

It was indeed a mess, Pandora's box was well and truly open; and no amount of screaming or sulking or crying would put the evils that I had wrought back in there. Just like in the ancient story, all that was left in that box was hope, the hope that things wouldn't go wrong; the hope that everything would be all right.

I'd tried to push her away by the lake, but she didn't seem to want to stay pushed. She gave me the impression that she'd merely conceded some ground, pulled back her forces in order to muster her troops ready for the counter attack.

The question was, was I prepared enough to rebuff her next charge, or the one after that? What was my tactical situation? Could I stand firm, did I even want to?

As I swam, I thought honestly with myself about the situation, thinking carefully about James' words. Did I want to see where things would develop with her, or did I want to go back to being the 'stuck up, tight ass' he had described me as?