amourotic ~ 𝘏𝘓

16. will to live.

{trigger warnings: death, violence, slight suicidal thoughts}

Everything was dark, i was surrounded by an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and it wasn't a comforting thought.

I knew I had to figure out a way to get back to normal, a way to get back to him.

I brought myself to my feet and I began walking around the desolate area. Nothing for miles upon miles. Until I came across a faint light in the distance.

My legs began carrying my faster as I broke into a sprint, urging myself to move forward quicker before the light faded, leaving me in utter darkness.

As I eventually reached the door, I realised the light was shining through the cracks surrounding it, almost as if somebody was in the room. And of course, my curiosity got the better of me.

I reached my hand up towards the handle and turned it gently, hearing the door creak open as I pulled it towards me. My eyes widened.

It was Professor Fig.

"Viola?" his voice spoke, a concerned look plastered across his face.

I nodded slowly, looking down at my feet in disappointment and confusion. "Professor.."

His lips formed a frown as he looked me up and down "No. You shouldn't be here my dear child." he spoke, his voice now slightly angry.

"I'm sorry, I had to deal with the goblins.." I muttered, my words now seeming stupid in comparison to the situation that stared me down.

He shook his head, frustration clearly flooding his emotions as he reached for my wrist, pulling me towards the door. "Go. You're not dying today." He yelled at me, pushing me towards the bottomless pit on the other side of the door.

"But what about you Figgy?" I questioned, maybe if I could go back, then perhaps he could too.

"It's too late for me."

My eyes began to fill with tears, my sight becoming blurred at the liquid clouding my vision. I forced myself to nod as I chewed on my lower lip slightly, trying to hold back my sobs.

I quickly lunged forwards, wrapping my arms around the older man standing before me. "I'm sorry you died.. I miss you terribly.."

He returned my embrace, and sighed quietly "It's okay, I'm with Miriam now. I'm happy, Viola. And you were too, with Mr Gaunt."

My eyes widened at the sound of his name.

Ominis. My sweet boy..

I couldn't even comprehend the worry he must've been feeling at this moment. I'd been gone for what seemed like an eternity, and the thought of him sat awaiting my presence.. It broke my heart.

My head nodded quickly as I turned around and ran towards the door "Goodbye Figgy." I forced a small smile as I waved.

He waved in return and smiled widely at me, I could tell he was where he wanted to be.

I exited the room and as soon as I stepped over the threshold. I awoke in my body once again.
    
                      *           *           *

I quickly lifted myself up so I was sat, I observed the countless lifeless corpses surrounding me. The outcome of a battle I had desperately pursued.

And it was in this moment that I came to realise that I wanted to die. I didn't want to live with the guilt anymore. That maybe if I died, everyone would be safer and happier.

But that was no longer the case.

I was still breathing, and I had to be grateful of that. For Professor Fig, For Lodgok.

But most importantly, for myself. And the truth is, I was eternally grateful for the moment I spent with Professor Fig, for him convincing me that I needed to go back. To live my life to the fullest and to stop putting myself in these situations.

And this time I was going to obey.

I forced my self to my feet and began running back towards the castle with whatever little strength I had mustered up. All I knew for sure was that I needed to see Ominis, I needed to make sure he was okay, even if I wasn't in the best of shape.

Especially with my body infested with cuts and bruises. Not to mention the scar I was going to have across my eye.

But most importantly. I was alive.