Fuck Puck Love

Chapter 18- Vienna

Mentions of restricting meals and eating disorders

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I'm pissed, again.

You know how after an argument you think 'I should have said...' but you can't because it's after the fact

During the altercation with the girls, I couldn't even understand what was going on to respond, and now I regret it. How could I just let those girls treat me how they were? What the hell is wrong with me?

It's lunch now and all I can think about is the argument, well, it was more like shaming.

I notice how much Bailey cares about her looks, how her makeup is always caked on, her hair is styled to perfection, and her clothes are 3 sizes too small. I guess looking at her perfect body and well, perfect everything makes me feel insecure about my own

When I told Leo about what happened he was furious, he said that Bailey used to sleep with Lincoln hoping she could get close to Ezra. Apparently, Ezra never gave in, but how could he not when she looks as good as she does, it makes me feel a little insecure, but what are humans without insecurities?

I turn back to Leslie finally getting out of my thoughts.

She stares at me with her eyebrows raised as if asking what I'm thinking about I give her a shrug and my own eyebrow raises telling her to continue talking.

She does just that and says "You haven't touched your food"

I think about Baily's perfect body and I look down at my thick thighs and chubby stomach, the thought of eating right now makes me physically sick. Back to old habits, I guess.

I have always been a thicker person. Even when I was little I would get told how I needed to lose weight which caused me to restrict meals a lot. My mother realized what I was doing when my weight dramatically decreased and my facial skin started to sag, she immediately got me help from a doctor and they helped me to develop a healthy relationship with food.

Now feeling like this again after thinking I was 'all better' makes me feel even worse.

"No, I had a big breakfast" I lie, knowing I was running late this morning and didn't have time to eat. Apparently, even with free periods, you have to be on campus.

"Perfect then I'll be taking that cookie," she says with a wide grin, taking the cookie off of my tray.

With a smile of my own, I say "That's fine"

"So how did hanging out with Ezra go?" she says taking a bite of her cookie

I blush and say "It wasn't just me and Ezra, his friend was there too"

"Oh."

"Well, how was hanging out with them," Matt says.

"It was fun, I mean it was a little awkward at first but eventually we were just talking if that makes sense"

"It does," Maya says

For some reason, Ezra and the guys decided to eat inside the cafeteria and he keeps staring at me. "I have to go to the bathroom" I lie, getting up and grabbing my bag, I really just need to talk to Ezra and I don't want to answer a million questions about it.

"Okay we'll see you later," Leslie says

I can feel someone actually following me and I know it's Ezra because even as the cafeteria door closes, I still feel the familiar feeling of Ezra's eyes on me.

I make my way to the back of the school knowing he will follow me the entire way, when we reach the back my suspicions are confirmed when I feel him grab my hips and turn me around tugging me into his body.

"You didn't eat your food," he says with a frown

"I wasn't hungry, besides that's not what I wanted to talk about"

"Well, I do." He reaches into his bag grabbing a bag of chips. At the sight, my stomach growls begging for something to eat. He motions to my stomach and says "Why are you lying to me, you're obviously hungry"

"Look I just don't want to eat."

"Why?" he presses with a frown.

"It's none of your business." I take a step back only for him to grab my hand like he needs to constantly be touching me.

"Please just eat the chips," he begs "- my brother used to do the same thing, please just eat something" 

I can tell this is something he really cares about so I grab the bag. I swallow and open it hesitantly bringing a chip up to my lips with shaky hands. I open my mouth and take a small bite of the chip basking in the salty flavor.

He gives me an encouraging smile so I go to take another small bite, with each bite it does not get easier like is commonly said, but Ezra being there with an encouraging smile did help, though it did make me feel a little embarrassed.

He doesn't make any comments about my body, saying that I look fine, which is nice, I guess he knows it won't help.

"Anyways I wanted to tell you to stop staring at me"

"How can I not, everything about you is absolutely perfect, every time I look at you I feel like I'm gazing into the stars"

Immediately I feel butterflies in my stomach, that is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. How can one sentence make me feel this way?

I take a step closer to him, pushing aside all of my hesitance. I grab onto the back of his, neck pulling him down to meet me, he puts his hands on my hips and we both close our eyes and fall into a soft kiss much different from our last.

This one feels much more passionate, but somehow less lust filled.

He tastes like chocolate and min, the same as last time, making me believe he naturally tastes this amazing.

He licks my bottom lip asking for entrance which I allow.

This time we don't battle for control I just follow his lead, With each caress our kiss becomes more heated

He moves his hands from my hips to my ass, and he squeezes it while picking me up, making my pantie dampen. I wrap my legs around his waist and my core rubs against his dick causing us to moan into each other's mouths.

He starts walking to the bench not breaking the kiss and with each step causes us to rub against each other, he eventually sets me down on the table and starts kissing down from my lips all the way to my neck.

I moan feeling him sucking on my neck and say "There better not be a hickey"

He disconnects his lips from my neck looking down at it he chuckles and says "Too late, what's done is done." He pulls me in for another, I don't even care about the mark anymore as I am now lost in the kiss.

I man as he reaches under my skirt and his middle finger grazes my inner thigh. He starts to put his hand into my panties when we are interrupted by a loud cough.

Oh shit.

He quickly removes his hand and turns pulling my skirt down so I am no longer exposed.

"Hate to interrupt the porno but the bell rang and it is time for history."

I notice it was Leo talking and I feel a little better knowing it's not some total stranger.

I hop off the table and start speed walking to history, hoping to get out of this embarrassing situation.

"You do realize we have this class together right" Ezra calls

"Uh-huh," I call back even though I somehow forgot.

How am I going to pay attention when I'm sitting next to the guy who just had his hand in my panties?

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I don't even know what to say... Hope it was up to your standards and you enjoyed it. I'm sorry for cutting it off I just feel like its too early for her to actually do anything yet, but soon